As the new year begins we pause to reflect on all the things that happened in the Year of Our Lord 2008:

– We began the year in the midst of a losing battle with facial hair.

– We travelled to Detroit, where our calzones froze to the bottom of our ill-insulated tour bus.

– We travelled to Dragoncon and killed a man with our rock fury (Old Greg, you will be missed).

– We traveled to Chicago, New York and Los Angeles only to find that as big as they are, the real rock and roll kids live in Greenville, South Carolina.

– We were brutally attacked by a grown man in a Gumby costume while playing Kenny Loggins.

– The Merchant Fell.

– The Thundercon Fell*.

– Demon Barber Fell*.

– Gas Prices Fell (after we’d finished touring for the year).

– Doug Fetterman stayed fallen.

But after all this, we end this year on a high note. We’d like to thank the Nashville Scene for making it official:
The Protomen are a big deal.

However, Big Deal or No Deal, Howie, this year will not be won easily. Even now, like a pair of T-Rexes attacking a camper in a movie devoid of Sam Neil, the second battle begins:

News from the Department of Destroying the Competition:
The Deli Magazine has thrown down yet another gauntlet. We have decided to take the challenge, for… what choice do we have but to defend our honor.
Help us show the world that the members of The Protomen Army are nothing if not internet voting machines.

Here is your task, fair allies:
This is easy –
Go Here:
Click the little dot next to The Protomen.
Rinse and Repeat…well, not really the “Repeat” part, since it’s a one time vote. But you should certainly Rinse.

Know that the spoils of this war would greatly aid in the development of Act II.

Tell your friends.
Tell your neighbors.
Go to your Grandmother’s house and guide her feeble tech-inept hands to the cyber-voting booth, tell her we’re the Ronny Reagan of Rock and Roll.

We must destroy the competition. Otherwise they’re just going to come back again in 6 months with another poll.
It ends here, Comrades.
It ends now.

News from the Act II front:
Our newest ally, Alan Shacklock (you may know him from such past projects as “The Protomen present Father of Death – the 7 inch Single“. I think he’s done other things as well, but his credentials aren’t in front of me right now.) has joined us for the whole of Act II. This will be the most fierce and terrifying creation the Protomen have ever created after promising it for 3 years. And the most anticipated, to boot.
Don’t worry kids, when the frost breaks, you shall have your vengeance.

News from the office of the “Keep Supporting The Protomen by Buying Stuff Dept”:

“Heath Who Hath No Name” will now be known as “Heath Who Hath Decided To Retire His Trusty Hollow-body Ibanez Guitar.”

See the full story….HERE.

News from the Bureau of Bookings:

These are the scheduled battles of the New Year:
Jan 10 – The End – DJ sets w/ Left Can Dance & MAVS – Nashville, Tennessee
Jan 13 – 527 Main Street – with Destroy Destroy Destroy – Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Jan 15 – The Exit/In – with Destroy Destroy Destroy – Nashville, Tennessee
Jan 16 – MERCY LOUNGE 6TH ANNIVERSARY – Nashville, TN
Jan 17 – Halfway to Forecastle Festival *ALL AGES* @ Green Building – Louisville, Kentucky

We’ve only got 4 more years until the Mayan Calendar runs out…Let’s make them count.

-Panther

* more on this later.

Tags: Protomen News by The Protomen
9 Comments »

It’s Saturday, November 28th. One day after the day after the worlds most intense Annual Pilgrim Party. And it is only now that I am at a point in my life that I can explain, in big man words, the chaotic events that took place nearly two full days ago…

I awoke Thursday morning, and prepared myself for what I thought was going to be a long day of binge eating and generalized thankful slothiness, only to find a switchblade stabbed into the hood of my car…and a note that read:
“2009 will be The Year of the Apache!”

That’s right. It’s happened. After years of struggle. After endless war. Armando “Apache” Putay has resurfaced. He stopped by a little while later to apologize about the switchblade thing, and offered to fix my hood, but something spooked him and he was gone, like the wind rider that he is. Although he was before me only for an instant, his burning eyes told me everything. Where he’d been. Where he’s going. How long he plans to stay there. Whether or not he got great deals on hotel lodging through Priceline.com.
It seems Shatner and Putay walk with the buffalo.

For years, many of you have asked, “where can I get more Makeup And Vanity Set?…I love his 8Bit record, but I yearn for more.” And for those same years, we’ve held no answers for you. Hark(yes, I just said “Hark”)! Those years are the years of the past. This year is the year of the FUTURE…or the present. But we’re moving into the FUTURE. And very soon, you will be able to get your computerized hands on your very own computerized copies of “Aesthetically Speaking,” and “Charles Park.” “How soon,” you ask? By the time you get through reading this paragraph…that’s “how soon.” Now, you ask, “just when will I be done reading this paragraph?” and I say to you…”as soon as you stop asking questions like the one you just asked.” And then I say, “If you just let me finish, I can get on with the telling you how to get to his illustrious jams.” And you say, “sorry.” And I say, “it’s ok, but you need to grow up and stop being a terrible burden on your poor mother.” And then you say, in a sassy but perturbed tone, “Bitch, You don’t know my life!.” To which I respond, “you’re right, I was completely out of line with suggesting that I had a working knowledge of you and your mother’s relationship…I’m sorry.” To make it up to you, I’ve decided to give you access to Makeup And Vanity Set’s music…On iTunes. Go Here:
–Charles Park

–Aesthetically Speaking

–Makeup And Vanity Set Presents: The Protomen

As for the “Father Of Death” 7″….
There are quite a few things to tell you on that front. And because there are so many things to tell you, I’ve decided to put it into bullet point Q&A, for convenience and style:

•1•
QUESTION: “My record says to play it at 45RPMs, but when I do that, it sounds like the Chipmunks Christmas record.”
ANSWER: “That is because there were suggestions by some of the head execs at SoundMachine Records that we would sell better if we sounded more like the Chipmunks.”
SOLUTION: Play the record at 33RPMs for now…and play it at 45RPMs on Christmas Day.

•2•
Q: “How many records were pressed?”
A: “More than we ever anticipated. The initial number was to be 500, but several malfunctions at the plant caused that number to nearly double. 450 of them say to play the record at 45RPMs, and the correct 500 say to play the record at 33-1/3RPM. The corrected label records came in, and are ready to ship. This means that if you haven’t ordered your copy by now, you should thank the record pressing plant for the extras, because we would be sold out by now.
S: Buy more records.

•3•
Q: “But seriously, I have this rash, and I was wondering…”
A: “Seriously, No.”
S: Topical Cream. Buy it. Use it. Leave us alone about your rashes.

•4•
Q: “Am I supposed to get a Download Code with my record? I pre-ordered my copy of Father Of Death, and it came in, but i couldn’t find my Digital Download Code. Woe is me..”
A: “Yes, you should have gotten a code. An email with your code was sent out by Theory 8 Records around November 8th. The codes were emailed the day of the release show, so you wouldn’t have to wait. This means your package wouldn’t contain the download slip.”
S: Check your email history and/or junk mail folders. If that fails…send our people an email.

I’m sure there are other things that I should be telling you right now, but I can’t think of anything else. Maybe later.

“Year Of The Apache…”
It better be, Putay…it better be…

-Commander

Tags: Protomen News by The Protomen
5 Comments »

Good Lord.
Never in our collective robot-rock-opera-performing-lives have we been so destroyed by the raw power of an audience as we were Sabado noche. Each member of the Protomen awoke the next morning saying the same thing…(in the same bed – as the Thundercon has lost all shred of heat and has forced us to go to disturbing lengths to keep warm), “I (we)… feel like I (we)… was (were)… hit by a bus (bus)…a bus driven by fury and hellfire…a bus fueled by synth-destroying screams and raised fists…a bus driven by the nerd-devil himself straight into the gates of the extremely well-lit stage of hell.

It felt good.

It felt right.

Act 2 will be good. We can feel it in our bones. Last night’s show gave us back the fire that the cold heart of the Thundercon had threatened to put out. For that, We thank you.

For those of you still pondering the best way to cram your fancy new 7 inch into your compact disc player (or for you really old school hipsters…your tape deck) The best we can offer is the digital version of both “Father of Death” and Robert Tepper’s immortal classic “No Easy Way Out”.
The code enclosed in your very own copy of the Father Of Death single can be used to obtain such an intangible treasure. But beware, it can be used only once.
Keep it secret.
Keep it safe.

Those of you who missed out on the fury of last Saturday’s battle, keep hope. All is not lost. We managed to fend off the mob long enough to escape with one or two of the coveted Father of Death singles.

They will be at the following location starting the 10th of November at a minute past noon (12:01pm). Get them while they last, kiddies. There won’t be anymore.**

http://www.soundmachinestore.bigcartel.com

While you’re there, grab a limited edition “Father Of Death” Wanted Poster…if you don’t, we’ll hunt you down.

-end transmission-

-Panther

** We know the 10th of November was yesterday. We just wanted to rub it in that the Mailing List people got first shot at the new record/Sound Machine Store. If we had shelves…they would be flying off of them right now.

Tags: Protomen News by The Protomen
3 Comments »

“Change is coming. The Volunteer State grows colder. The Thundercon will soon be consumed in frost and the sounds of people running through the David Beckham Wing seeking the warmth of the trash barrel fires that will light every bedroom for the months to come. If ever there was a time to hide away and try to survive the hell that’s coming, it is now.”
…those are the long since forgotten words of Panther…but know that they ring just as true today. Hell, they may ring more true today than they did last week, when he said them. It’s 22 degrees in Thundercon right now. And it’s not even that cold outside… The newly acquired Thundercat is currently frozen to the projector. How?…we don’t know. This house is turning on us. Things are getting bad here, and this is only the beginning. No retreat, No surrender. No time to die. We have things to do.

On the night of November 8th, 2008, we will be releasing a limited edition 7″ (Record Single – Two Tracks) from our upcoming Act II. It will be given to all those that come to the release show at 12th & Porter in Nashville. Thanks goes to Theory 8 Records for helping us put these two jams on record.

Since we’re talking about shows, we have 2 Murfreesboro shows this week. One is TODAY on the MTSU campus at 4:15PM…The other is SATURDAY at The Vine(we play at 8:45). BOTH ALL AGES!

Q&A Time…
We have been receiving many questions, as of late. Many of said questions were unanswerable (we know very little about ringworm). Many of them were indistinguishable, in terms of grammar, and a majority of them contained emoticons. After a bit of “Internet” to “English” translating, we have decided to answer a few of the more pertinent:

(1)
Q: “What are the age restrictions for the November 8th show?”
A: This show is 18 AND UP.

(2)
Q: “How many copies can I buy at the show?”
A: There are no limits to the number of records you can purchase at the show, at least until it sells out. You are just guaranteed one free with admission.

(3)
Q: “I’m from around Nashville, and I’m feeling like a puppy that’s been left out in the proverbial cold harsh rain, because I’m under 18. I am beginning to fret. Is there any way that we “under-agers” can get our tiny hands on this limited edition golden nugget of the future of the universe??”
A: For all of you under 18 locals, crying because you’re feeling like a puppy that’s been left out in the proverbial cold harsh rain, because you can’t get into the show where we’re giving away our first official release in 3 years… Do not fret. You’re only sort-of being left out in the proverbial cold harsh rain. Before the show gets started, we will have a Merch Table set up where your tiny underage hands can reach. It is here that you will be able to swing by and grab your very own limited edition golden nugget of the future of the universe.

(4)
Q: “I hear that there was a “mailing list-only” Pre-Sale of the 7″ inch last week. I’m not on the mailing list, because I don’t like having information first (too much pressure). Is there a way I too can pre-order before the show, or have I blown it?”
A: “You Blew It.”

(5)
Q: “I’ve got this rash, and I was wondering if…”
A: “No.”

….speaking of the 7″ Pre-Sale that happened at the first of last week….
For those of you who knew, and successfully reserved their copy…Congratulations! From now on, we’ll call you “The Fastest Nerds in the West.” So fast, even, that you managed to sneak orders past our machines. Originally, we were only putting 25 copies up for Pre-Sale, but within 30 minutes, so many orders came through that it clogged up the automated system. Before we knew what was happening, 40 had been sold. As for you extra 15……..consider yourselves lucky….this time.

Lastly…
A thank you to the boys of The Faint. We had a lovely time at the Cannery Ballroom show with you. Even though you threw us into a pit of dancing despair with your most rabid of fans, and despite a few snapped wires and broken joints, we’re all still alive. Perhaps we’ll meet you nice lads again one day..at the gates of steel.

Giving in can’t be wrong,

-Commander

Tags: Protomen News by The Protomen
4 Comments »

We tried. We told them to keep it secret…to keep it safe. They failed. It’s everywhere now. It’s all over me. We know the cause of the leak. We know now where they got it, and we know who it was, but it doesn’t matter now. All that matters is that its out. There is, honestly, only one road now to go down. If its going to be released, the least we can do is give you a decent (read: not bad Mp3 bootleg) version of this demo to play with. This is the version to spread around. Let the world know.

So, We’ve heard it called “Don’t turn your back on the city” We’ve heard it called “DTYBOTC..BY?”. “Breaking Out” is the working title. Its scheduled to be the opening track for side II of Act II (our upcoming sophomoric release). It debuts the second of the two themes of the album; the counterpoint to the whole of side 1. If side one is a Spaghetti Western gone Robocop, then side two is Streets of Fire gone Logan’s Run. A dirty 1980s future where Spandex is tough and an alleyway knife fight is the only justice a man needs. We hope Steinman will be proud.

In other news:
We have a host of events coming up. We’d better see you there:
-August:
29th – Atlanta, GA – DRAGON•CON @Marriott Atrium Ballroom *ALL AGES* – 11:57PM
-September:
1st – Nashville, TN – 8 OFF 8th @Mercy Lounge *21+* – Only 3 Songs – 8:00PM
11th – Nashville, TN – NEXT BIG NASHVILLE @Exit/In *18+* – 11:00PM
12th – Chattanooga, TN @Rhythm & Brews – 8:00PM

•FOR THOSE OF YOU ON THE STREET TEAM•
Report to the Command Station. Your services are needed in Nashville and Chattanooga.

•FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE THINKING ABOUT SKIPPING THIS BURST OF SHOWS BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU’LL JUST GO TO SOME LATER IN THE YEAR•
This is more than likely going to be our last burst of shows for the rest of the year, so if you were planning on skipping these to go to the next ones…get a new plan.
Don’t cry….ACT II is COMING!

Speaking of Act II. The last three days have been spent finishing two songs for a fancy style release towards the end of October…more on that later.

There’s no easy way out.

-Commander

Tags: Protomen News by The Protomen
14 Comments »

There are few reasons we break our vow of silence in between news
bulletins. We’ve recently learned of a fallen ally. A fallen friend.
Godspeed, Hayden. You will be missed.
-The Protomen

Tags: Protomen News by The Protomen
No Comments »

Deepest, Blue…est, Our hats are truly like a sharks fin.We understand, dear allies, that our readership will suffer great loss due to the fact that our news post this week is competing with Shark Week.
•note• this was written several days ago and sent out on our mailing list…although it breaks our hearts, we know that shark week is over…we’re not just living in denial…we’re just too lazy to write something new. •end note•
Even as I write of our victories and defeats these last few weeks, my eyes are drawn to the box…drawn to the flickering screen and the destructive force within.  I assure you, readers, they can do that…they can bust through a steel door. Although with all that I’ve learned these last 3 days, nothing has taught me more about our underwater foes than Deep Blue Sea, which I’ve recently discovered is actually the epic sequel to Jurassic Park..er Posey(no small ally of a movie).
But surely I stray,
There are things which beg mentioning.

Firstly, thank you for all that showed support in the epic struggle that was the  Deli Magazine Vote-A-Thon 2000…For those not up to speed(i.e. ON THE MAILING LIST), the Nashville division of Deli Magazine entered us into an online poll to choose their Band of the Month. We put those of you who are on our MAILING LIST to the test, and you built us a fancy house with a white picket fence in the illustrious Nation of Victory!  You should give their site a little visit. While you’re there, you can read a friendly new article that they posted, as well as, learn more about the Nashville music scene….GO SEE!! 
Seriously, though…give them a comment…let them know you like their site…..or we’ll kill your family(not really, but do you really want to test us? We’re tough robots…or at least as close as you can get by painting your face silver and dressing like an extra in a Sergio Leone film).

Enough business, now to the goods.
We finally brought the hell that we’d promised for years to the midwest. They took it as well as could be expected. They fought. They fell. They climbed back to their feet and they just kept swinging.
We played some of the most amazing venues this run – from destroyed churches in Chicago (complete with 6 foot neon crosses) the rooftops of Louisville (technically not the midwest…but it was still an amazing venue.)
We saw some of the most astounding things – Murfreesboro’s own Henry Daggs at a Protoshow, singing no less…Springfield, MO loved us so much that they tried to keep us around by dragging a man with a gun out into the streets to justify quartering a city block off for an hour.)
After coming down from the rooftops, we ate Bison. America’s most delicious once-endangered animal. Apparently they’re doing well enough to be made into Frito pies.
And we played furiously.
Things weren’t always great. There was St. Paul. Things got bad. We damn near tore each other apart. Enclosed here is a recording of the speech that Doctor Ben gave just before he died suddenly and tragically. You will be missed Doctor Ben. But in that speech, he gave us the hope that we needed to carry on and make it…to Iowa.
Thanks to everyone involved in making this the best darn summer of our entire lives.
See you next fall.

Wait.

The future. We can’t leave for summer vacation without exchanging addresses, signing yearbooks, and telling everyone how much we’ll miss them. We made out with some of you fine readers behind the baseball dugout last Thursday after arts and crafts…we’ll never forget that.

The Future:
Our summer vacation will be spent as follows:
This Week: Learn about sharks by combined watching of the Discovery Channel and the movies Deep Blue Sea, Jaws, and Jurassic Parker Jr.
August 16th: Playing with our video-game addict allies in the fair city of Baltimore at 32-Bit Genocide
August 29, 30, 31: Playing DragonCon in Atlanta: The toughest of all Dragons and the 2nd toughest of all Cons (after the ThunderCon, of course)
September 10-14: Playing Next Big Nashville…a festival held once a year to decide where Nashville will move to next.
After That: We have a fancy surprise that you’ve all been waiting for…no, not the release of ACT II..but something from it….maybe around late Oct/early Nov? STAY TUNED!
After After That: ACT II (the album, not the popcorn) EXCITING!!!

After shark week is over, tune your eyes and ears back to the proper channels for more information.

Thanks again to everyone we met, played with, slept in basement belonging to, ate bison burgers made by, tortured cats with a laser pointer owned by, got free medical advise from, and made out with behind the dugout last Thursday after arts and crafts.
We’ll never forget any of you…whatever your names were.

Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.

-Panther

Tags: Protomen News by The Protomen
3 Comments »

THE FIGHT FOR LIGHT: Unrest In The Midwest 2008

JULY:
10th – Bowling Green, KY – Bread & Bagel
11th – Chicago, IL – South Union Art Center
12th – Madison, WI – The Frequency
13th – St Paul, MN – Station 4
15th – Des Moines, IA – Vaudville Mews
16th – Lincoln, NE – Box Awesome(TWO SHOWS – ONE NIGHT!!)
17th – Kansas City, MO – The Riot Room
18th – Springfield, MO – Outland
19th – Springfield, IL – Black Sheep
24th – Louisville, KY – Forecastle Festival/Glassworks
25th – Nashville, TN – 12th And Porter
26th – Chattanooga, TN – JJ’s Bohemia

If we don’t see you at these shows…we’ll assume you’re dead.

-Commander

Tags: Protomen News by The Protomen
5 Comments »

-Willow Juan-
Recently, we’ve noticed a lack of fancy* super live action video of us in the world. This brings the sadness down upon us like a sack of rusty anvils. Because of the high volume of our sadness, we thought it wise to ask our friends at Version Industries to “make with the fancy” at a recent show in NY. It’s been a little while, since the show, and they’ve been hard at work. Now, you ask, were their fanciful attempts successful, or were their hard boiled labor efforts in vain? Were their countless hours in the proverbial fields fruitless, or did they effortlessly reap the bountiful/fancy harvest? Yes. Just like Reba, they made with The Fancy. Be proud of them. They are helping to take that sadness away.
We now present to you:
VIDEO FANCINESS

With that out of the way, it’s on to business…

-SUPER VOTE-A-THON-
For those of you don’t have your ear to the ground or nose to the grindstone or chin to the cobblestone or back to the …forget it. For those of you who don’t know, let it be known that we’ve been entered into a competition of power by the boys of Ernie Ball. This competition is to play at a festival known all too well across this United America. This festival is known as Warped Tour. Before you cough obscenities, know that this is a challenge, and we must be victorious. I can think of no other population on earth that is in more dire need of hearing good music. That being said, help us bring the Light.
In order to help, follow these steps:
•STEP 1. Head to Ernie Ball’s Warped Tour Battle of the Bands site and register an account.
•STEP 2. Once registered, head to our account HQ to vote for us and rate our songs/band once daily.
•STEP 3. This is a community effort, get your friends and family to help…get people you don’t know to help too..make new friends…it’s FUN!
•STEP 4. You and your new friends then visit your profiles daily to vote for your favorite robot band, besides Daft Punk.
Result:
The top 20 voted bands will have a shot to play the show date, so your votes are everything. Remember, it’s a daily thing so hit it often and rally your friends. It’s time to see what we’re all made of. Make the magic happen.

-ILIKE.COM PRESENCE-
If you happen to be on iLike.com**…..imagine that, we are too! Find us. “Like us”….or else.

-PHOTOGRAPHS-
We finally updated the Photos section of the website. Go there. Seek, and ye shall find. More to come soon.

-MAILING LIST-
If you’re already signed up on our mailing list, but haven’t gotten anything from us recently, we ask that you follow these two steps:
•STEP 1. Check your junk folders for our previous messages.
•STEP 2. If you find nothing in your junk folder, add communications@protomen.com to your safe list within your email account. Hopefully, that will allow future communications to reach you.

-STREET TEAM UPDATE –
Soon, we will have a resource page available to those of you involved. It will be a page with all the tools you will need to survive***.

-ROCK N ROLL ACROSS AMERICA SHOWS-
For those of you who don’t know, Scartoe is currently on a world-spanning Vision Quest. He’s searching out his deepest meaning. He’s discovering things within himself that he never thought possible. He’s becoming a man of mans. That being said, we are grounded from flight, for the time being. In this time, we’re recording our hearts out. Making jams that you’ve never imagined. Much is being done within the walls of Thundercon. Much left to be done. However, he is going to be back from his Vision Quest in the early parts of July. It is then, that we shall prepare for war.

I ain’t got time to bleed.

-Commander

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

*High Quality
**Don’t worry, it’s not an online dating site.
***Except for crossbows. Our lawyers won’t let us hand out crossbows.

Tags: Protomen News by The Protomen
4 Comments »

Oh God.
Where have I been
What’s happened here?
…
The day is Wednesday, the 26th of May, year of our Lord 2000…something.
Today is the first day I can focus my brain since the beating we took in Greenville.

What can I remember…
There was the 14 hour bus ride/Indiana Jones marathon. I nearly won. I made it through the “Kali Ma Shakti de”…but the next thing I remember was “he no nuts…he crazy.” So really…no points for Temple of Doom.

What else…
There was Greenville.She was just as we left her…completely insane and brimming with the most bizarre creatures the night has ever born.
There was the Baby Dinosaur Guy.He fell to the floor in front of me and showed me how dinosaurs freed themselves from the egg-prison. His presentation ended with him screaming “If I cannot have life, then I will TAKE LIFE!” and then leaping onto some poor bastard’s neck and chewing on his ear.
Then there was the girl that Scartoe spoke to who was afraid that whales would somehow walk the earth again. This terrified her.
They had metal-workers. The head metalist forged a new MegaCannon from the fires of hell and the steel of the Devil himself. It was beautiful. It was heavy. It was magnificent.
Oh.
And we played a show.
Yes.
There was a show…I’m remembering bits and pieces now.
There were other shows.

Richmond, where the children run the streets with tattoos and clearly learn to party at age 9.

Connecticut, where the venues will let you sleep on the stage…for certain favors (Murphy took care of the details).

Boston, where the bars are built on the sun and the sweat fuels the machines that produce heat and feed it back into the bars.

Brooklyn, Where our old allies keep the fires burning all night, and then cook pizza upon them.

And Baltimore, Yes Baltimore. We love you the most. Although you’re a very strange bird. We’ll be back soon, honey.

And Snoop Dogg was there.
And we played on the New York Giant’s practice turf.
And we rode the Gravitron until we vomited with joy.

The Tour was a success, from what I can recall.
Thanks to everyone who made it the hazy blur that it was.
Those who played…those who offered shelter…those who provided food…those who turned the PA up until the death rang out properly…and that asshole at the motel in New Jersey who would not…I repeat, would not…let us sneak 11 people into a room reserved for two…Mola Ram… prepare to meet Kali… in Hell.

There have been other shows that need to be mentioned.There were benefits and battles that went unsung.Wax Fang…you will always be in our hearts (mostly because you broke into Thunderstruck at some point during the set…your rendition of ACDC brought Gumby back from hell.)

USN(University School of Nashville) and the kids at Zeitgeist…fantastic showing. We are fans. We are allies.

WRVU and WMTS…there are few people we love enough to stop swearing long enough to talk on air to…we are forever yours.

Springfield and Chicago…we learned some pretty disturbing things about Lincoln. Did you know that they had the minivan of outhouses? Look it up. Family style…creepy.

We’re hard at work now to make Act II a reality.We even showed some of the material to the more discerning(read: drunk) crowds this last run up the eat coast.With their official thumbs up…we will proceed.

Also…we have started a line of fancy Patches. Buy them. Buy them in large numbers. Many. Buy them. Be Fancy. Be fancy 10 times over.

Starting today, it’s time to start our street team attack. If you are interested in being on the Super Proto Street Team Attack To The Proto Death Attack Street Team(S.P.S.T.A.T.T.P.D.A.S.T)…FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS:
Step 1:
Go to the Protomen Forum.

Step 2:
Register with whatever name you feel just. Make it good.
*If you are already registered on the Forum, skip this step and continue to Step 3.

Step 3:
Email us HERE: lightbrigadestreetteam@gmail.com ….telling us your ScreenName and Location. Please put your State and Screen Name in the SUBJECT line.

Step 4(is our responsibility):
We will read the email and then grant you access to the Super Secret Street Team portion of the Forum: COMMAND STATION.

Lastly,
I need to make clear the rumors that Doug Fetterman made a Baltimore appearance.Ladies and Gentleman, Doug Fetterman is and will forever be…gone from us.He was our friend. He was our most beloved leader and confidant. He will forever live on in our music. Last month was the one year anniversary of his passing. That being the case, we have decided to commemorate this fallen hero with our newest shirt. I guess we’ll just have to figure out what that “one thing” is on our own. We’ll miss you, Doug.
Viva Fetterman…long live the king.

Man, this message is long….I guess that’s what I get for being silent for 6 months now.

You know what they say…
Fortune and Glory kid, Fortune and glory,
Panther.

Tags: Protomen News by The Protomen
4 Comments »