Again with the squeaky shoes …
We have more bad news. But this time the bad news is only for the place that got away with not having bad news last time. Ashville, NC, we’re sorry, but it has to be this way. We found out late yesterday afternoon that our Tuesday show had to be canceled, due to these events that are continuously unforeseen. If someone would invent an Event Foreseer, believe us, we’d use the hell out of it … but until then, we are subject to the merciless and unrelenting whims of unforeseeability.

In Other News….that ISN’T bad –
We would like to thank each and every one of you for our victory at San Juan … I mean Mercy Lounge on Monday. You stood tall … well, most of you weren’t there, but you were there in spirit with your heads held high. To the ones of you that were actually there…you have the hearts of lions. We thank you for sticking around until 12:30 on a Monday night. We certainly couldn’t have done it without you. You were the “landslide.” And Stevie Nicks sang you with all her heart.

For those of you who are somehow in the dark with what all of this means –
It means that The Protomen are going to play at the Bonnaroo Festival in Manchester, TN with Bruce Springsteen, The Decemberists, Jenny Lewis, TV On The Radio, Okkervil River, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, David Byrne, NIN, and Danny Glover! I don’t know if Danny Glover is really going to be there, but we got a hot tip.

On to other related business –
Recently, we told everyone that if we won the Road To Bonnaroo competition, we would have an ice cream party. We are men and women of our word … Congratulations, you won yourself free ice cream. Very soon, we’re having said Ice Cream party at the Strike And Spare on Charlotte Ave. in Nashville, TN. Stay tuned for more information.

Upcoming Show/s –
Next month, we will be supporting our longtime friends in Shoot The Mountain for their CD release show, and we’ll be joined by none other than TOTALLY SNAKE!! Every one of these men are like two legged unicorns of fury. That night will prove to be great fun for everyone.

May 16th
Shoot The Mountain – EP Release Show
Shoot The Mountain, The Protomen, and Totally Snake
at The Basement
Nashville, TN

June 11th – 14th
Bonnaroo Festival
Exact date to be announced.

ACT II –
It exists …

Far from over,

-Commander

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There are several items to bring to the table today….some good….some bad….some good and bad……some bad and good….some bad with good…..some good with bad….some good for bad…some bad for good. Nothing too bad…. Nothing too good. I will tell you, however, that I’m positive that none of the good news is bad, and none of the bad news is good.

Let’s get right down to the good parts of the good news and the bad parts of the bad news:
The bad news is we are having to stand down from our late April tour of the East coast………..but the good news is…..this will speed up the release of ACT II!! This is actually really great news, but know that we are deeply sorry that we will not get to come to your town and play jams for you and your family. Reason being, we had some tour scheduling conflicts, and at this point, Act II takes top priority.

That being said, the only show to survive the chopping block was Ashville, NC. I repeat… We ARE STILL playing the show at the New French Bar in Ashville, NC on April 28th.
I guess Ashville, NC only gets good news.

In other news:
-ACT II UPDATE.
As you might have gathered, we’re at the mixing stage of this album, and I’m going on record right now with saying that this is the best record since Technotronic released “Pump Up The Jam.”….no shits.

-LAST SHOWS STANDING:
With all this bad news about shows being canceled….it’s good to know that we still have TWO shows coming up in Nashville… back to back…at the same place!

TONIGHT/Friday, April 17th – at Mercy Lounge ••18+••
with Kindercastle and Fly Golden Eagle – also DJ sets from Left Can Dance and Apache Putay!
—FIRST 100 PEOPLE THROUGH THE DOOR GET IN FREE!

MONDAY NIGHT/April 20th – at Mercy Lounge ••21+•• (WE NEED YOUR VOTE!)
Road To Bonnaroo – This is the night that we Battle for a slot at Bonnaroo!
Get there at 9…procure your ballot… and hang out with us till the end of TIME….the ELO record…That’s right, we’re just going to sit around listening to ELO all night. It’s what we do. And we can do it together!
—This is a totally FREE show.

We’ll see you there.
-Commander

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There are strange things afoot in the Land of Volunteers. Seasons are changing. Tides are turning. Tectonic plates are shifting at a great rate of speed…geologically speaking. Act twos are existing…existentially speaking. If things seem to move slow in the Proto-camp, comrades, be assured that it is simply because everything is moving at once. It takes a great and silent earthquake to move the sea…but once the tidal wave is started it takes the Hand of God to stop it.

You have taken part with us in shaking the foundation of those seas. The Deli Magazine offered us a challenge and a great parachuted foe. We…You…rose to the occasion with such vigor, we were humbled. It takes a great deal to humble 11 men in silver makeup. For that, we thank you.
Because of you, we were victorious in the Deli Magazine’s physical challenge.

We thank them for putting us in the running with such great Nashville contemporaries/compadres and we thank you for pushing us over the top…starring Sylvester Stallone and the ever-talented David Mendenhall.

In Other News:
We’ve heard whispers of a new gauntlet being thrown. It promises to be just as tough as the last and may rely solely on our local battalions. It seems there is a battle brewing between us and quite a few of our long-time Nashville allies.

It’s going to be sort of like that time that you and 7 other people all ended up making out with each others girlfriends…and things got heated…and it ended up in a knife fight to the death in the alleyway behind the Exxon TigerMart…and only one of you lived…but in the morning you all had coffee and laughed about it because in the end you realized that your girlfriends were kind of slutty to begin with… and the most important thing is really that everyone is still friends and that no one was seriously hurt…except 7 people died.

What we’re saying is, on April 20th, we need your help like the devil needs fresh souls. We have been entered into an 8 Band knife fight…to the death. The survivor gets to play Bonnaroo……with Bruce Springsteen. Not really “with”….but he’ll be there, and that’s close enough.

Mercy Lounge’s: 8 Off 8th: Road to Bonnaroo *FREE SHOW* 21+
The rules are as follows:
MONDAY, APRIL 20th – Eight bands will gather at Mercy Lounge in Nashville to play roughly 3-4 songs each. It is at this point that Judges will then Judge them to death, based on those 3-4 songs. That part shouldn’t concern you….that part is up to us not sucking it up. What IS up to you is how many people you can bring to the show and stay from start to finish…. For this is the way of the new world. In order for your vote to be cast, you must get your ballot before the first band starts, and stay until the last band is done. It is only then, that you can cast your vote spell upon the dreaded dark wizard judges.

We know this may be asking a lot of you and your Monday night, but we know we can count on you….and your friends…and their friends….and their parents…and their parents’ parents…and your co-workers…and your co-workers’ parents….and maybe even your parents….and your parents’ parents…and your boss*..and your boss’ sister…and your siblings….and your siblings’ friends…and your siblings’ parents(may be double dipping here)…etc.

*If your boss is there, he won’t get mad at you the next day when you’re 45 minutes late to work, because you will have taken him to see the best Apocalyptic Spaghetti Western Robot Rock Band from Nashville… that he’s ever seen!

April 20th at Mercy Lounge – 9PM:
8 Men Enter – 1 Man…Goes to Bonnaroo.
Help us be that man.

Keep your eyes and ears tuned to the proper channels for more information.

In Other Other News:
We’d like to mention that we had a blast playing a rock and roll party celebrating Nashville’s finest Author/Artist/Writer/Fancy-man-extrodinarie, Eric Powell. His comic-book “The Goon” turned 10 years old a few weeks ago and we played the birthday party, alongside some entertaining Texan-rock–and-rollers, as well as a plethora of Fancy Ladies. Speaking of fancy ladies, also in attendance was the un-silent majority of The Nashville Rollergirls. If you don’t know who they are, find out…live it. They’ll skate right across your face. Because of this, our alliance grows stronger by the day.
It was a fun night. We strongly recommend you check out The Goon and Eric Powell. He’s a ferocious man.

News From The Merch Front:
Just in time for the spring…Hoodies!
Turns out we were too busy making Act II to time that one out properly.
Oh well…They still look tough as nails. Keep in mind, your peers will ridicule you for not having at least 3 of them. Good news is, there are two different types. Pullover and Zip-Up. This means you can get one of each….and get an extra of your favorite!

News From the “As we sink deeper and deeper into the swamps of Making a New Record….we realize that we really miss playing shows…so here we come” Front:

These are the shows… Get ’em while they’re hawt:
APRIL-
10th Bowling Green, KY – Mayhem/SOKY Fairgrounds
11th Columbus, OH – Armageddicon IV
17th Nashville, TN – Mercy Lounge (Unofficial Rites of Spring After-party)
20th Nashville, TN – ” (8 Off 8th/Road To Bonnaroo) FREE SHOW
28th Ashville, NC – New French Bar
29th Richmond, VA – The Czar
30th Baltimore, MD – Metro Gallery
MAY-
2/3rd East Rutherford, NJ – Bamboozle Festival
5th Washington DC – DC9
6th Greenville, NC – The New Spazzatorium
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Keep The Fire.

-Los Protomens

-end transmission-

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As the new year begins we pause to reflect on all the things that happened in the Year of Our Lord 2008:

– We began the year in the midst of a losing battle with facial hair.

– We travelled to Detroit, where our calzones froze to the bottom of our ill-insulated tour bus.

– We travelled to Dragoncon and killed a man with our rock fury (Old Greg, you will be missed).

– We traveled to Chicago, New York and Los Angeles only to find that as big as they are, the real rock and roll kids live in Greenville, South Carolina.

– We were brutally attacked by a grown man in a Gumby costume while playing Kenny Loggins.

– The Merchant Fell.

– The Thundercon Fell*.

– Demon Barber Fell*.

– Gas Prices Fell (after we’d finished touring for the year).

– Doug Fetterman stayed fallen.

But after all this, we end this year on a high note. We’d like to thank the Nashville Scene for making it official:
The Protomen are a big deal.

However, Big Deal or No Deal, Howie, this year will not be won easily. Even now, like a pair of T-Rexes attacking a camper in a movie devoid of Sam Neil, the second battle begins:

News from the Department of Destroying the Competition:
The Deli Magazine has thrown down yet another gauntlet. We have decided to take the challenge, for… what choice do we have but to defend our honor.
Help us show the world that the members of The Protomen Army are nothing if not internet voting machines.

Here is your task, fair allies:
This is easy –
Go Here:
Click the little dot next to The Protomen.
Rinse and Repeat…well, not really the “Repeat” part, since it’s a one time vote. But you should certainly Rinse.

Know that the spoils of this war would greatly aid in the development of Act II.

Tell your friends.
Tell your neighbors.
Go to your Grandmother’s house and guide her feeble tech-inept hands to the cyber-voting booth, tell her we’re the Ronny Reagan of Rock and Roll.

We must destroy the competition. Otherwise they’re just going to come back again in 6 months with another poll.
It ends here, Comrades.
It ends now.

News from the Act II front:
Our newest ally, Alan Shacklock (you may know him from such past projects as “The Protomen present Father of Death – the 7 inch Single“. I think he’s done other things as well, but his credentials aren’t in front of me right now.) has joined us for the whole of Act II. This will be the most fierce and terrifying creation the Protomen have ever created after promising it for 3 years. And the most anticipated, to boot.
Don’t worry kids, when the frost breaks, you shall have your vengeance.

News from the office of the “Keep Supporting The Protomen by Buying Stuff Dept”:

“Heath Who Hath No Name” will now be known as “Heath Who Hath Decided To Retire His Trusty Hollow-body Ibanez Guitar.”

See the full story….HERE.

News from the Bureau of Bookings:

These are the scheduled battles of the New Year:
Jan 10 – The End – DJ sets w/ Left Can Dance & MAVS – Nashville, Tennessee
Jan 13 – 527 Main Street – with Destroy Destroy Destroy – Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Jan 15 – The Exit/In – with Destroy Destroy Destroy – Nashville, Tennessee
Jan 16 – MERCY LOUNGE 6TH ANNIVERSARY – Nashville, TN
Jan 17 – Halfway to Forecastle Festival *ALL AGES* @ Green Building – Louisville, Kentucky

We’ve only got 4 more years until the Mayan Calendar runs out…Let’s make them count.

-Panther

* more on this later.

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It’s Saturday, November 28th. One day after the day after the worlds most intense Annual Pilgrim Party. And it is only now that I am at a point in my life that I can explain, in big man words, the chaotic events that took place nearly two full days ago…

I awoke Thursday morning, and prepared myself for what I thought was going to be a long day of binge eating and generalized thankful slothiness, only to find a switchblade stabbed into the hood of my car…and a note that read:
“2009 will be The Year of the Apache!”

That’s right. It’s happened. After years of struggle. After endless war. Armando “Apache” Putay has resurfaced. He stopped by a little while later to apologize about the switchblade thing, and offered to fix my hood, but something spooked him and he was gone, like the wind rider that he is. Although he was before me only for an instant, his burning eyes told me everything. Where he’d been. Where he’s going. How long he plans to stay there. Whether or not he got great deals on hotel lodging through Priceline.com.
It seems Shatner and Putay walk with the buffalo.

For years, many of you have asked, “where can I get more Makeup And Vanity Set?…I love his 8Bit record, but I yearn for more.” And for those same years, we’ve held no answers for you. Hark(yes, I just said “Hark”)! Those years are the years of the past. This year is the year of the FUTURE…or the present. But we’re moving into the FUTURE. And very soon, you will be able to get your computerized hands on your very own computerized copies of “Aesthetically Speaking,” and “Charles Park.” “How soon,” you ask? By the time you get through reading this paragraph…that’s “how soon.” Now, you ask, “just when will I be done reading this paragraph?” and I say to you…”as soon as you stop asking questions like the one you just asked.” And then I say, “If you just let me finish, I can get on with the telling you how to get to his illustrious jams.” And you say, “sorry.” And I say, “it’s ok, but you need to grow up and stop being a terrible burden on your poor mother.” And then you say, in a sassy but perturbed tone, “Bitch, You don’t know my life!.” To which I respond, “you’re right, I was completely out of line with suggesting that I had a working knowledge of you and your mother’s relationship…I’m sorry.” To make it up to you, I’ve decided to give you access to Makeup And Vanity Set’s music…On iTunes. Go Here:
–Charles Park

–Aesthetically Speaking

–Makeup And Vanity Set Presents: The Protomen

As for the “Father Of Death” 7″….
There are quite a few things to tell you on that front. And because there are so many things to tell you, I’ve decided to put it into bullet point Q&A, for convenience and style:

•1•
QUESTION: “My record says to play it at 45RPMs, but when I do that, it sounds like the Chipmunks Christmas record.”
ANSWER: “That is because there were suggestions by some of the head execs at SoundMachine Records that we would sell better if we sounded more like the Chipmunks.”
SOLUTION: Play the record at 33RPMs for now…and play it at 45RPMs on Christmas Day.

•2•
Q: “How many records were pressed?”
A: “More than we ever anticipated. The initial number was to be 500, but several malfunctions at the plant caused that number to nearly double. 450 of them say to play the record at 45RPMs, and the correct 500 say to play the record at 33-1/3RPM. The corrected label records came in, and are ready to ship. This means that if you haven’t ordered your copy by now, you should thank the record pressing plant for the extras, because we would be sold out by now.
S: Buy more records.

•3•
Q: “But seriously, I have this rash, and I was wondering…”
A: “Seriously, No.”
S: Topical Cream. Buy it. Use it. Leave us alone about your rashes.

•4•
Q: “Am I supposed to get a Download Code with my record? I pre-ordered my copy of Father Of Death, and it came in, but i couldn’t find my Digital Download Code. Woe is me..”
A: “Yes, you should have gotten a code. An email with your code was sent out by Theory 8 Records around November 8th. The codes were emailed the day of the release show, so you wouldn’t have to wait. This means your package wouldn’t contain the download slip.”
S: Check your email history and/or junk mail folders. If that fails…send our people an email.

I’m sure there are other things that I should be telling you right now, but I can’t think of anything else. Maybe later.

“Year Of The Apache…”
It better be, Putay…it better be…

-Commander

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Good Lord.
Never in our collective robot-rock-opera-performing-lives have we been so destroyed by the raw power of an audience as we were Sabado noche. Each member of the Protomen awoke the next morning saying the same thing…(in the same bed – as the Thundercon has lost all shred of heat and has forced us to go to disturbing lengths to keep warm), “I (we)… feel like I (we)… was (were)… hit by a bus (bus)…a bus driven by fury and hellfire…a bus fueled by synth-destroying screams and raised fists…a bus driven by the nerd-devil himself straight into the gates of the extremely well-lit stage of hell.

It felt good.

It felt right.

Act 2 will be good. We can feel it in our bones. Last night’s show gave us back the fire that the cold heart of the Thundercon had threatened to put out. For that, We thank you.

For those of you still pondering the best way to cram your fancy new 7 inch into your compact disc player (or for you really old school hipsters…your tape deck) The best we can offer is the digital version of both “Father of Death” and Robert Tepper’s immortal classic “No Easy Way Out”.
The code enclosed in your very own copy of the Father Of Death single can be used to obtain such an intangible treasure. But beware, it can be used only once.
Keep it secret.
Keep it safe.

Those of you who missed out on the fury of last Saturday’s battle, keep hope. All is not lost. We managed to fend off the mob long enough to escape with one or two of the coveted Father of Death singles.

They will be at the following location starting the 10th of November at a minute past noon (12:01pm). Get them while they last, kiddies. There won’t be anymore.**

http://www.soundmachinestore.bigcartel.com

While you’re there, grab a limited edition “Father Of Death” Wanted Poster…if you don’t, we’ll hunt you down.

-end transmission-

-Panther

** We know the 10th of November was yesterday. We just wanted to rub it in that the Mailing List people got first shot at the new record/Sound Machine Store. If we had shelves…they would be flying off of them right now.

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“Change is coming. The Volunteer State grows colder. The Thundercon will soon be consumed in frost and the sounds of people running through the David Beckham Wing seeking the warmth of the trash barrel fires that will light every bedroom for the months to come. If ever there was a time to hide away and try to survive the hell that’s coming, it is now.”
…those are the long since forgotten words of Panther…but know that they ring just as true today. Hell, they may ring more true today than they did last week, when he said them. It’s 22 degrees in Thundercon right now. And it’s not even that cold outside… The newly acquired Thundercat is currently frozen to the projector. How?…we don’t know. This house is turning on us. Things are getting bad here, and this is only the beginning. No retreat, No surrender. No time to die. We have things to do.

On the night of November 8th, 2008, we will be releasing a limited edition 7″ (Record Single – Two Tracks) from our upcoming Act II. It will be given to all those that come to the release show at 12th & Porter in Nashville. Thanks goes to Theory 8 Records for helping us put these two jams on record.

Since we’re talking about shows, we have 2 Murfreesboro shows this week. One is TODAY on the MTSU campus at 4:15PM…The other is SATURDAY at The Vine(we play at 8:45). BOTH ALL AGES!

Q&A Time…
We have been receiving many questions, as of late. Many of said questions were unanswerable (we know very little about ringworm). Many of them were indistinguishable, in terms of grammar, and a majority of them contained emoticons. After a bit of “Internet” to “English” translating, we have decided to answer a few of the more pertinent:

(1)
Q: “What are the age restrictions for the November 8th show?”
A: This show is 18 AND UP.

(2)
Q: “How many copies can I buy at the show?”
A: There are no limits to the number of records you can purchase at the show, at least until it sells out. You are just guaranteed one free with admission.

(3)
Q: “I’m from around Nashville, and I’m feeling like a puppy that’s been left out in the proverbial cold harsh rain, because I’m under 18. I am beginning to fret. Is there any way that we “under-agers” can get our tiny hands on this limited edition golden nugget of the future of the universe??”
A: For all of you under 18 locals, crying because you’re feeling like a puppy that’s been left out in the proverbial cold harsh rain, because you can’t get into the show where we’re giving away our first official release in 3 years… Do not fret. You’re only sort-of being left out in the proverbial cold harsh rain. Before the show gets started, we will have a Merch Table set up where your tiny underage hands can reach. It is here that you will be able to swing by and grab your very own limited edition golden nugget of the future of the universe.

(4)
Q: “I hear that there was a “mailing list-only” Pre-Sale of the 7″ inch last week. I’m not on the mailing list, because I don’t like having information first (too much pressure). Is there a way I too can pre-order before the show, or have I blown it?”
A: “You Blew It.”

(5)
Q: “I’ve got this rash, and I was wondering if…”
A: “No.”

….speaking of the 7″ Pre-Sale that happened at the first of last week….
For those of you who knew, and successfully reserved their copy…Congratulations! From now on, we’ll call you “The Fastest Nerds in the West.” So fast, even, that you managed to sneak orders past our machines. Originally, we were only putting 25 copies up for Pre-Sale, but within 30 minutes, so many orders came through that it clogged up the automated system. Before we knew what was happening, 40 had been sold. As for you extra 15……..consider yourselves lucky….this time.

Lastly…
A thank you to the boys of The Faint. We had a lovely time at the Cannery Ballroom show with you. Even though you threw us into a pit of dancing despair with your most rabid of fans, and despite a few snapped wires and broken joints, we’re all still alive. Perhaps we’ll meet you nice lads again one day..at the gates of steel.

Giving in can’t be wrong,

-Commander

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We tried. We told them to keep it secret…to keep it safe. They failed. It’s everywhere now. It’s all over me. We know the cause of the leak. We know now where they got it, and we know who it was, but it doesn’t matter now. All that matters is that its out. There is, honestly, only one road now to go down. If its going to be released, the least we can do is give you a decent (read: not bad Mp3 bootleg) version of this demo to play with. This is the version to spread around. Let the world know.

So, We’ve heard it called “Don’t turn your back on the city” We’ve heard it called “DTYBOTC..BY?”. “Breaking Out” is the working title. Its scheduled to be the opening track for side II of Act II (our upcoming sophomoric release). It debuts the second of the two themes of the album; the counterpoint to the whole of side 1. If side one is a Spaghetti Western gone Robocop, then side two is Streets of Fire gone Logan’s Run. A dirty 1980s future where Spandex is tough and an alleyway knife fight is the only justice a man needs. We hope Steinman will be proud.

In other news:
We have a host of events coming up. We’d better see you there:
-August:
29th – Atlanta, GA – DRAGON•CON @Marriott Atrium Ballroom *ALL AGES* – 11:57PM
-September:
1st – Nashville, TN – 8 OFF 8th @Mercy Lounge *21+* – Only 3 Songs – 8:00PM
11th – Nashville, TN – NEXT BIG NASHVILLE @Exit/In *18+* – 11:00PM
12th – Chattanooga, TN @Rhythm & Brews – 8:00PM

•FOR THOSE OF YOU ON THE STREET TEAM•
Report to the Command Station. Your services are needed in Nashville and Chattanooga.

•FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE THINKING ABOUT SKIPPING THIS BURST OF SHOWS BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU’LL JUST GO TO SOME LATER IN THE YEAR•
This is more than likely going to be our last burst of shows for the rest of the year, so if you were planning on skipping these to go to the next ones…get a new plan.
Don’t cry….ACT II is COMING!

Speaking of Act II. The last three days have been spent finishing two songs for a fancy style release towards the end of October…more on that later.

There’s no easy way out.

-Commander

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There are few reasons we break our vow of silence in between news
bulletins. We’ve recently learned of a fallen ally. A fallen friend.
Godspeed, Hayden. You will be missed.
-The Protomen

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Deepest, Blue…est, Our hats are truly like a sharks fin.We understand, dear allies, that our readership will suffer great loss due to the fact that our news post this week is competing with Shark Week.
•note• this was written several days ago and sent out on our mailing list…although it breaks our hearts, we know that shark week is over…we’re not just living in denial…we’re just too lazy to write something new. •end note•
Even as I write of our victories and defeats these last few weeks, my eyes are drawn to the box…drawn to the flickering screen and the destructive force within.  I assure you, readers, they can do that…they can bust through a steel door. Although with all that I’ve learned these last 3 days, nothing has taught me more about our underwater foes than Deep Blue Sea, which I’ve recently discovered is actually the epic sequel to Jurassic Park..er Posey(no small ally of a movie).
But surely I stray,
There are things which beg mentioning.

Firstly, thank you for all that showed support in the epic struggle that was the  Deli Magazine Vote-A-Thon 2000…For those not up to speed(i.e. ON THE MAILING LIST), the Nashville division of Deli Magazine entered us into an online poll to choose their Band of the Month. We put those of you who are on our MAILING LIST to the test, and you built us a fancy house with a white picket fence in the illustrious Nation of Victory!  You should give their site a little visit. While you’re there, you can read a friendly new article that they posted, as well as, learn more about the Nashville music scene….GO SEE!! 
Seriously, though…give them a comment…let them know you like their site…..or we’ll kill your family(not really, but do you really want to test us? We’re tough robots…or at least as close as you can get by painting your face silver and dressing like an extra in a Sergio Leone film).

Enough business, now to the goods.
We finally brought the hell that we’d promised for years to the midwest. They took it as well as could be expected. They fought. They fell. They climbed back to their feet and they just kept swinging.
We played some of the most amazing venues this run – from destroyed churches in Chicago (complete with 6 foot neon crosses) the rooftops of Louisville (technically not the midwest…but it was still an amazing venue.)
We saw some of the most astounding things – Murfreesboro’s own Henry Daggs at a Protoshow, singing no less…Springfield, MO loved us so much that they tried to keep us around by dragging a man with a gun out into the streets to justify quartering a city block off for an hour.)
After coming down from the rooftops, we ate Bison. America’s most delicious once-endangered animal. Apparently they’re doing well enough to be made into Frito pies.
And we played furiously.
Things weren’t always great. There was St. Paul. Things got bad. We damn near tore each other apart. Enclosed here is a recording of the speech that Doctor Ben gave just before he died suddenly and tragically. You will be missed Doctor Ben. But in that speech, he gave us the hope that we needed to carry on and make it…to Iowa.
Thanks to everyone involved in making this the best darn summer of our entire lives.
See you next fall.

Wait.

The future. We can’t leave for summer vacation without exchanging addresses, signing yearbooks, and telling everyone how much we’ll miss them. We made out with some of you fine readers behind the baseball dugout last Thursday after arts and crafts…we’ll never forget that.

The Future:
Our summer vacation will be spent as follows:
This Week: Learn about sharks by combined watching of the Discovery Channel and the movies Deep Blue Sea, Jaws, and Jurassic Parker Jr.
August 16th: Playing with our video-game addict allies in the fair city of Baltimore at 32-Bit Genocide
August 29, 30, 31: Playing DragonCon in Atlanta: The toughest of all Dragons and the 2nd toughest of all Cons (after the ThunderCon, of course)
September 10-14: Playing Next Big Nashville…a festival held once a year to decide where Nashville will move to next.
After That: We have a fancy surprise that you’ve all been waiting for…no, not the release of ACT II..but something from it….maybe around late Oct/early Nov? STAY TUNED!
After After That: ACT II (the album, not the popcorn) EXCITING!!!

After shark week is over, tune your eyes and ears back to the proper channels for more information.

Thanks again to everyone we met, played with, slept in basement belonging to, ate bison burgers made by, tortured cats with a laser pointer owned by, got free medical advise from, and made out with behind the dugout last Thursday after arts and crafts.
We’ll never forget any of you…whatever your names were.

Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.

-Panther

Tags: Protomen News by The Protomen
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