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Yeah… I know… these things are incredible. And unfortunately, they are exclusive to our European store, because Kingsroad is the only company that can get them printed and in your hands in time for the holidays. Hoooweevverrr… Kingsroad ships worldwide, so everybody’s got a relatively fair crack at them! The cutoff to get your orders in time for the holidays is around the 9th, so get your orders in quick.

Proto-Santa and Robo-Krampus art by the ever-wonderful John DeLucca. Layout consultation by Stefanie Cobb. And Christmas trees, candy canes, Light light, and snow… by me! You better enjoy it, because I won’t be doing that shit ever again.

20% off everything in the Sound Machine Store from now until Monday night (except for the Live In Nashville Blurays and CDs, since Blurays just came in Tuesday and some early buyers still haven’t gotten theirs, and that just wouldn’t be fair, now would it? Didn’t think so)! Enter this code at checkout: TWENTY2020

Kingsroad Europe Store has a black friday weekend sale, too! 20% off everything, except for the new Christmas Sweatshirt (we can’t discount the new rad super suuuuper limited Christmas sweatshirt, because believe me, it’s priced as low-cost as we can possibly make it)! Enter this code at checkout: PROTOMENFRIDAY


Speaking of…. Blurays finally came in and are currently shipping! Really sorry for the wait on those. COVID supply chain issues ain’t no joke. With that, everything is now in-hand and shipping. Did you know that Blurays and CDs make wonderful stocking stuffers? I’m just saying.

And since the COVID action is in full force, we won’t be coming to your city to shake your hands and sign your merch (and babies) for a while, so we figured we could offer the next best thing.  For a limited time, we’ll sign anything you want in the SM Store. Just add the BAND SIGNATURES “product” to your cart and we’ll make it happen. If you have specific things in the order you don’t want signed, just let the store know what you don’t want us to sign, otherwise we’re gonna sign it all. Keep in mind that this will add a little bit of a delay since we’ll have to hunt all The Protomen down for signatures. It’s a bit of a chore, since most of us live in the forest, in caves, and under bridges.

**Note** This add-on will be offered until Friday, December 11th at 11:59 p.m CST.  Orders will be signed and shipped by December 18th.”

Beach hoodies will be back in stock by mid-December, so go ahead and grab a pre-re-order for a discount this weekend while you can. Then sit around for a couple-ish weeks and be mildly cold while you wait for it (and your brand new Proto-Christmas sweatshirt?) to show up. 

An update on “theprotomen” Twitch user name mystery … We got it! So if you’re a twitcher, get on there and follow the account, we’ll get some kind of something going on there soon. Even if it’s just a live feed of our synthesizers dressed up for Christmas!

There were so many exclamation points in this mailer!!!

That’s all for a bit. 


November Update 1 of 2

Our new live album, Live In Nashville, is now available on all kinds of streaming and digital purchase parties (Apple, Spotify, Amazon, Google, Bandcamp, and Strudl [music for when you’re eating pastries]). Buy and stream your heart out…. but preferably buy… but streaming is cool, too… just do whatever makes you happy. Live your dreams. Also, please spread the word whilst living your dreams.

Posters for Live In Nashville are now shipping. They turned out great and we signed a mess of them, so grab some before Panther decides to burn them all because we used a picture of his unshaven face for the cover of this thing (he reeeallllly regrets not shaving that night…). 

CDs are also finally in hand and are starting to ship from the Sound Machine Store (we have signed ones of that, too)! Blurays, on the other hand… those ran into all kinds of COVIDelays. But everything is finally ironed out and they should be shipping very very soon. We don’t exactly know what “very very soon” entails, but it’s looking like two weeks — give or take a year. This IS Protomen stuff we’re talking about…


Hey Europe… heads up! The very last of the Act I vinyl repress (European exclusive Clear Smoke vinyl edition) are now available in very limited number (30) at our Kingsroad Europe store. Make it happen. Also, more stuff coming to that store soon.


Our future-past space-earth robot-feline-cone friends, TWRP, put out a new record since the last mailer called, Over The Top. And if that album title wasn’t wonderful enough, our very own Gambler Kirkdouglas McArthur C. Clark Kent State University Courtyard Marriott Hotel And Casino (yes, that’s her real name) makes an appearance on “Destination.” The whole album is pretty fancy. Give it a gander on CD, Vinyl, and all those same previously mentioned streaming parties (except for Strudl. TWRP hates pastries… I know, right? Who hates pastries? TWRP, that’s who. Unbelievable).

And last but not least (but maybe least?), we’ve added another Spotify playlist for you to gander. The Protomen Discography. It’s our entire current digitally-available discography for those times when you want to blow 6.5 hours. We’ll get “Built To Last” and “Beards Going Nowhere” on there someday… and yes, Act III will be on there when that bun is ready to come out of the oven.
***and don’t forget about the Pre-Show Playlist that’s been around for a bit. Please spread the word on that action, too. Help us excite those algorithms!

That’s all for now, but expect an obligatory Black Friday mailer next Friday. Speaking of… everybody have a happy and safe Thanksgiving next week. And for those of you outside the US, have a happy and safe Thursday next week.



If you, or anyone you know, have any information about, or are the owner of, the Twitch user-name “theprotomen,” please contact us at Unsolved.com… I mean, Protomen.com