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AWESOME NEWS AND BAD NEWS.

Sorry for having to sit on this mailer for a few days. Lots of things in the works.

I’ll go ahead and start with the Awesome news…
Several days ago, I got fancy phone call from some fancy people associated with some other fancy people that were asking us to play a fancy show with them at a fancy venue in a fancy town for a lot of fancy people. After first shitting myself and then immediately telling them no-way because of fierce (not so fancy) scheduling difficulties, I came to realize that fancy people like this only come calling every-so-often, so we decided I should call the fancy people back and try to “work it out.” And “work it out,” we did…

I know you’re pooping yourself right now in anticipation, so I’ll just cut the long-winded jackalackery right now and tell you. Tenacious D asked us to play with them next month in Vancouver. It’s going to be absolutely amazing. We’ve been wanting to do this for a very long time.

Now for the Bad news…
The Tenacious D show is in Vancouver, BC on May 27th. Unfortunately, this means that we have to bow out of the last 3 shows at the end of our tour with Powerglove, Creature feature, and Danimal Cannon. We wish there was another way, but in order to get from Buffalo, NY to Vancouver, we need those three days of driving cross country. It saddens us to no end to have to drop out of some of this upcoming tour, but when the D calls, you tell him no at first because of scheduling woes, but then realize how stupid you were for telling the D no, and then you call him back with acceptance in your heart.

Powerglove is going to continue on without us. If you’ve already purchased tickets, we urge you to attend even though we won’t be there, because they’re still going to be awesome shows. If you haven’t gotten your tickets yet, you can still get them at the links below. Bring the thunder in our stead.

MAY
25th – Pittsburgh, PA – Altar Bar
26th – Howell, MI – Bled Fest
27th – Cleveland, OH – Beachland Ballroom

But back to another bit of good news about the tour coming up. A new show has been added in NJ. Bamboozle Festival. This year has Foo Fighters, Bon Jovi, Anamanaguchi, Hot Water Music, Periphery, Gaslight Anthem, and Dramarama. We played this fest back in ’08 and it was super fun. We ate a bunch of food and then jumped on the Gravitron for free. The Gravitron conductor then decided that he wanted to see if he could crush our bones with centripetal force. I think he succeeded. I was positive that I had internal bleeding afterwards and we all thought we were going to vomit for the next 3 hours. Good times.

Either way, you should get your tickets to this one because it’s going to be super fun (Foo Fighters are even playing that day so they can come watch us…), and maybe if you’re lucky, we’ll vomit on you.

And you’d better not forget about the rest of the shows on that tour that are still happening to the maxxx. There are some tickets left, so you’d better grab what you can now. Bring everyone you’ve ever known. They deserve it (as a gift or as punishment).

MAY
04th – Nashville, TN – Brick Factory —- 18+ (Cancer Dancer Party) *DJ SETS ONLY*
18th – Worcester, MA – The Palladium —- ALL AGES
19th – Asbury Park, NJ – Bamboozle Festival —- ALL AGES
20th – West Chester, PA – The Note —- ALL AGES
22nd – Montreal, QC – Katacombes —- 18+
23rd – Toronto, ON – The Hoxton —- 19+
24th – Buffalo, NY – Mohawk Place (Tickets On Sale Soon) —- ALL AGES

27th – Vancouver, BC – PNE Ampitheatre (with TENACIOUS D!!!)

Now for the Queen news…
It’s finally time to unleash the Queen Beast. We’ve been teasing the shit out of you with all the snippet stuff, but the time is finally come to fully announce it and start the inevitable pre-sale shenanigans. Photography for the cover was done by none other than Matt Sundin (co-director for the Light Up The Night video), and the Logo and other artwork was illustrated by M.L. Hope. It’s at the printers right now getting all gussied up, so we figured it was safe to go ahead and show you what it’s going to look like and give you a chance to get your copy locked down. As always, this first run is limited, so make sure you jump on it quickly.

The Protomen Present: A Night Of Queen

Intro
Flash
Battle Theme
Don’t Stop Me Now
Killer Queen
Hammer To Fall
One Vision
Somebody To Love
Princes Of The Universe
Death On Two Legs
I Want To Break Free
Scandal
I Want It All
The Show Must Go On
Under Pressure
Bohemian Rhapsody
Due Vendetta
Outro

And if having our pretty faces on a compact disc isn’t going to be enough for you, we’ve got you covered. You’ll soon be able to wear us on your chest! Isn’t that the most exciting thing you’ve ever heard? We’re pretty excited about it. It’s going to be a nearly-black T-shirt (similar to the Act II shirt) with faces printed on the front and text logo on the back. That’s one pretty shirt…

As usual, there are exciting combo packs available for those of you who hate ordering items separately. Below is the shirt and Compact Disc combo. You should totally get it.

And for those of you who were with us on that fateful night, December 10th, 2010, you may remember (or maybe you purchased one there) the poster we had made for the show. Either way, there are only about 60 left, so if you want one, you’d better get it now.

That’s a lot to take in. There were a lot of ups and downs (really only 3 downs, and if you don’t live near any of those places… no downs!), so I’m going to stop here. I believe you’ll be able to take all these bits of new news and make the best of it. And for those of you who got hit hardest by the bad bits, take those lemons and make some lemonade and shit (I hate lemonade). Take a trip to Vancouver… Canada needs you! …but they probably don’t want you. Either way, we hope to see you all next month in some form or fashion.

GORDON’S ALIVE,

-Commander

Announcements From The Road.

Firstly, I’d like to thank everyone that came out to the Music Hall of Williamsburg on Sunday to be an extra in our Light Up The Night music video. I’d especially like to thank all of the crazy assholes who endured the cold hard rain and stuck with us till the end (5am). I know you were all sore the next day from all the fist pumping, and some of you more than likely stricken with a fierce case of the pneumonias, so I just want you to know that we know we can’t thank you enough. I will say that after reviewing some of the footage, there is no way in hell you’ll be disappointed by the final product.

Secondly, as you should know by now, we’re on tour on the upper East coast, and we’re playing several super fancy shows. And with that prior knowledge, you should know that we’re playing PAX East in a few days (and if you don’t have your passes already, get them immediately). What you probably don’t know is that at PAX East, we’re playing Act II in it’s entirety with a 5 piece string section (and trumpet) from Boston called The Boston Massacre Five. This is going to be incredible. If you don’t believe me, smell my breath… It tastes like homemade licorice.

In further tour-like news… guess what, East coast… We’re coming right back at you next month. And this time we won’t be alone. We will be co-headlining a short tour with Powerglove, and will be joined by Creature Feature and Danimal Cannon (as made famous by Metroid Metal and Arm Cannon). It’s going to be one hell of a quick tour, so grab your tickets before they’re gone as shit.

MAY (PROTOMEN/POWERGLOVE TOUR)
18th – Worcester, MA – The Palladium —- ALL AGES
20th – West Chester, PA – The Note —- ALL AGES
22nd – Montreal, QC – Katacombes  —- 18+
23rd – Toronto, ON – The Hoxton  —- 19+
24th – Buffalo, NY – Mohawk Place (Tickets On Sale Soon) —- ALL AGES
25th – Pittsburgh, PA – Altar Bar —- ALL AGES
26th – Howell, MI – Bled Fest —- ALL AGES
27th – Cleveland, OH – Beachland Ballroom —- ALL AGES

This new info in no way means you should forget about our current awesome dates. What happens if you all happen to say “I’ll skip this one for the next one” or “I’ve already seen them so I’ll skip the next one”… what happens is we have a bust of a show, and then we can never come back to your town. You don’t want that on your conscience, do you? Think about it.

APRIL
06th – Boston, MA – PAX —- ALL AGES – PERFORMANCE DAY 
07th – Boston, MA – PAX —- ALL AGES (no show, hangin out)
08th – Boston, MA – PAX —- ALL AGES (no show, hangin out)
09th – Cambridge, MA – Middle East —- 18+ (with MC FrontalotThe World is Square)
10th – Lancaster, PA – Chameleon Club —- ALL AGES

MAY
04th – Nashville, TN – Brick Factory —- 18+ (Cancer Dancer Party) *DJ SETS ONLY*

As for our live Queen album… It’s coming next month.

More announcements coming soon,

-Commander