Spring Love…Come Back To Me.

There are strange things afoot in the Land of Volunteers. Seasons are changing. Tides are turning. Tectonic plates are shifting at a great rate of speed…geologically speaking. Act twos are existing…existentially speaking. If things seem to move slow in the Proto-camp, comrades, be assured that it is simply because everything is moving at once. It takes a great and silent earthquake to move the sea…but once the tidal wave is started it takes the Hand of God to stop it.

You have taken part with us in shaking the foundation of those seas. The Deli Magazine offered us a challenge and a great parachuted foe. We…You…rose to the occasion with such vigor, we were humbled. It takes a great deal to humble 11 men in silver makeup. For that, we thank you.
Because of you, we were victorious in the Deli Magazine’s physical challenge.

We thank them for putting us in the running with such great Nashville contemporaries/compadres and we thank you for pushing us over the top…starring Sylvester Stallone and the ever-talented David Mendenhall.

In Other News:
We’ve heard whispers of a new gauntlet being thrown. It promises to be just as tough as the last and may rely solely on our local battalions. It seems there is a battle brewing between us and quite a few of our long-time Nashville allies.

It’s going to be sort of like that time that you and 7 other people all ended up making out with each others girlfriends…and things got heated…and it ended up in a knife fight to the death in the alleyway behind the Exxon TigerMart…and only one of you lived…but in the morning you all had coffee and laughed about it because in the end you realized that your girlfriends were kind of slutty to begin with… and the most important thing is really that everyone is still friends and that no one was seriously hurt…except 7 people died.

What we’re saying is, on April 20th, we need your help like the devil needs fresh souls. We have been entered into an 8 Band knife fight…to the death. The survivor gets to play Bonnaroo……with Bruce Springsteen. Not really “with”….but he’ll be there, and that’s close enough.

Mercy Lounge’s: 8 Off 8th: Road to Bonnaroo *FREE SHOW* 21+
The rules are as follows:
MONDAY, APRIL 20th – Eight bands will gather at Mercy Lounge in Nashville to play roughly 3-4 songs each. It is at this point that Judges will then Judge them to death, based on those 3-4 songs. That part shouldn’t concern you….that part is up to us not sucking it up. What IS up to you is how many people you can bring to the show and stay from start to finish…. For this is the way of the new world. In order for your vote to be cast, you must get your ballot before the first band starts, and stay until the last band is done. It is only then, that you can cast your vote spell upon the dreaded dark wizard judges.

We know this may be asking a lot of you and your Monday night, but we know we can count on you….and your friends…and their friends….and their parents…and their parents’ parents…and your co-workers…and your co-workers’ parents….and maybe even your parents….and your parents’ parents…and your boss*..and your boss’ sister…and your siblings….and your siblings’ friends…and your siblings’ parents(may be double dipping here)…etc.

*If your boss is there, he won’t get mad at you the next day when you’re 45 minutes late to work, because you will have taken him to see the best Apocalyptic Spaghetti Western Robot Rock Band from Nashville… that he’s ever seen!

April 20th at Mercy Lounge – 9PM:
8 Men Enter – 1 Man…Goes to Bonnaroo.
Help us be that man.

Keep your eyes and ears tuned to the proper channels for more information.

In Other Other News:
We’d like to mention that we had a blast playing a rock and roll party celebrating Nashville’s finest Author/Artist/Writer/Fancy-man-extrodinarie, Eric Powell. His comic-book “The Goon” turned 10 years old a few weeks ago and we played the birthday party, alongside some entertaining Texan-rockand-rollers, as well as a plethora of Fancy Ladies. Speaking of fancy ladies, also in attendance was the un-silent majority of The Nashville Rollergirls. If you don’t know who they are, find out…live it. They’ll skate right across your face. Because of this, our alliance grows stronger by the day.
It was a fun night. We strongly recommend you check out The Goon and Eric Powell. He’s a ferocious man.

News From The Merch Front:
Just in time for the spring…Hoodies!
Turns out we were too busy making Act II to time that one out properly.
Oh well…They still look tough as nails. Keep in mind, your peers will ridicule you for not having at least 3 of them. Good news is, there are two different types. Pullover and Zip-Up. This means you can get one of each….and get an extra of your favorite!

News From the “As we sink deeper and deeper into the swamps of Making a New Record….we realize that we really miss playing shows…so here we come” Front:

These are the shows… Get ’em while they’re hawt:
10th Bowling Green, KY – Mayhem/SOKY Fairgrounds
11th Columbus, OH – Armageddicon IV
17th Nashville, TN – Mercy Lounge (Unofficial Rites of Spring After-party)
20th Nashville, TN – ” (8 Off 8th/Road To Bonnaroo) FREE SHOW
28th Ashville, NC – New French Bar
29th Richmond, VA – The Czar
30th Baltimore, MD – Metro Gallery
2/3rd East Rutherford, NJ – Bamboozle Festival
5th Washington DC – DC9
6th Greenville, NC – The New Spazzatorium
Keep The Fire.

-Los Protomens

-end transmission-

12 Responses to “Spring Love…Come Back To Me.”

  1. Alas, my hands are tied. I cannot make it to Nashville, nor do I have any contacts over there. Wily has silenced my voice, and I must scream.

    I shall pray for your success, as that is all I cna do.

  2. if both you guys and the boss play bonaroo i will attend regardless of what crimes need be committed to make such dreams reality.

  3. Eric Powell? Lucky bastards. I love The Goon.

    Hoodies are cool, I’ll pick one up when life funds permit.

    You must play Bonnaroo. You also should probably come to Knoxville since I’m pretty much marooned here for the moment and would like to see your dashing silver faces again.

    I can rally the youth and make it a battle to be remembered.

  4. look,
    the girlfriends may have been slutty in the end.
    but the boyfriends were slutty first and always, and moreso at that.
    you dont know the whole story.
    nobody wins an exxon tigermart fight.

  5. You protomen and your damn shows. Quit whoring yourselves on every scene in the midwest and create some art.

  6. How in all of Jupiter’s 63 moons can I purchase tickets for the Richmond show? I’ve been waiting for at least 2 lifetimes for you to spread your message in this land.

  7. When I heard of the great fire I feared the battle was lost. I am pleased to hear that the Protomen have survived, and anxiously await to glimpse the glorious phoenix that is Act II rise from the ashes of tragedy. We mourn for Demon Barber.

    So I am to understand that we will not be called to arms until the listed venues have been conquered yet again?

    I see. This development is… disheartening. But the war is not won in a day, much less four years.

    In other news, I believe I have tracked down every frame of live fury offered by the Protomen on the YouTube video communications network. Never since the first battle has such a fire been ignited in my soul. This creation will indeed be terrifying.

    Don’t turn your back on the city. She screams for vengeance.

  8. Bman: I went to college (La Tech)to be a pilot(professional avtiiaon). I’d say chase the dream!!! The view from 3000 is phenomenal. The noise and wind inundates you. At my size the Cessna 152 is QUITE small, and very uncomfortable to fly, but as soon as the engine starts to whine, all the discomfort is forgotten. If you have any of the concerns that Jim describes, you still have powered flight options! They’re cheaper and just as fun! Buy and fly an ultralight aircraft!!!FAR 103 covers powered ultralight aircraft. There are no training, physical, or licensing rquirements.(I WOULD NOT ADVISE ANYONE TO EVER ATTEMPT TO FLY ANY AIRCRAFT WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING!!!)You could also look into light sport aircraft which was a change instituted in 2004 by FAA (courtesy of Experimental association). It doesn’t require medical approval, either. Basically, if you can get a driver license, you can get a light sport pilot license.If you dream of powered flight I can promise you’ll never regret it! As an aside (I was at the air space museum (Smithsonian) for the 100th anniversary(exact moment) of powered flight.) It was great. I met descendents of wilbur orville and more importantly Charles Taylor (any other airplane nerds know who he is? don’t cheat by googling). I found out that the wright flyer is original except for the fabric. They cut them up into pieces and gave them as souveniers, and sold some of them to continue funding flight ops.Sadly some raging assholes flew planes into the world trade center and ended my hopes of being a professional pilot, by putting many experienced pilots out of work, thus creating a backlog that’d take years to overcome flying chicken transports out of honduras at 15k a year. I had a few kids by this time (4 of 6) and couldn’t afford the paycut. I was already working as a mechanic for Delta, so I just rode that pony til I ran out of quarters.

  9. Such an impressive answer! You’ve beaten us all with that!

  10. That’s the thinking of a creative mind

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