Southeast: Day Two.

Atlanta is burning. We left the city this morning under the cover of a heavy fog and aluminum foil poptart wrappers. There was a dog barking…a pug who’d, the night before, wandered out into this wasteland, and in this blighted place, we think, learned to live again. God’s little mistake…The Warrior..The Pug…Max.
The night before was a thing of beauty. Our candlelit dinner theater extravaganza was witnessed by one transplanted Mississippian and a face-painted warrior comrade from Atlanta’s neighbor: Georgia. He was a fierce beast. And although their combined cover charges weren’t quite enough to cover the bar’s steep production costs…we were treated like kings and rewarded for our valor in Ireland’s finest Vodka. The Vodka was divided amongst each of us and every man celebrated with it in their own way. Most drank. Commander dowsed himself with his share in hopes of human-torching up and down Piedmont street, but he failed.
We stayed the night in The Major’s Nest high atop Bald Eagle Hill on Bald Eagle Way…just before you get to eaglet street. The Major wasn’t in, but we were welcomed and made comfortable by an old friend and ally, Kristin:the Entomolgizer. She showed us to our, as yet unmatched, sleeping quarters complete with a glorious Lego fortress. Scartoe slept in the arms of a giant brown bear.
Tonight, Tallahassee showed us a good time. She held the door for us, and picked up the check, and treated us to a crapload of tough metal. We are recovering from the night’s wrath, even as I type, from our new-found Tallahassee home base: W.A.S.P.N.E.S.T.
Our new allies: Lee, Hogan, and Alex (and their Harry P. look-alike roommate Rob) are fading quickly as I write these words…They are dropping like flies…Charlie is all around us, and that Charlie’s name is Sleep. Tomorrow we make for Gainsville with everything we’ve got. God-willing, we’ll be there by sundown.
Sleep well faithful readers, for tomorrow brings untold danger and unmatched fear…Samhain is neigh…
-Panther

–end transmission–

The Seven Days War.

Last night, we packed our bags and slept our last good night’s sleep for seven days. For today, we begin our journey to the SouthEast. Repairs were made to the machines late into the night (those that suffered near destruction on our last two battles in Baltimore).  We are southbound now. As I type from the belly of the rolling Thundercon, this machine called Jesse Christine the last of the V8 Interceptors, we see that we may well be too late. For miles now we’ve seen nothing but destruction. A white line nightmare. This sight weighs heavy on our hearts. Onward we drive… into the smoke… into this maelstrom of decay, where ordinary men are battered and smashed. If we make it through the night, we will count ourselves lucky. This is a shell of a place. A burned out desolate land haunted by the demons of its past. And as we wander out into this wasteland, we can’t help but wonder, in this blighted place… will we crumble? Will we fall? Or will we learn to live again?…like Max did…you know…The Warrior Max.

“The Fight for Light”

If and when we return home on the fifth of November…we will finally return to the studio to begin the fight of fights. Stand with us now men and women of the Southeast. We need you more than ever.

-Panther

Release The Beast…

Last night we bid farewell to our dear friend and ally Armando Apache Putay. He left the Thundercon, never to return. His days are over in this dark world….he’s gone on to a better place….a place on high….a place with central heat and air…a usable kitchen…and a train with several dogs in the back yard. Though his doors are small…you need only duck to gain entry. Last night, the sky was clear and our hearts were warm with the fires of memories past, as he walked his final walk down the Steps of Thunderconia. We loaded up Jesse The Interceptor with all of his worldly belongings…knowing very well that he can’t take him with him on the final journey…but he can enjoy them for now. There are no words for the amount of sadness we feel this day….but I suppose you could say that we have at least several bushels of sadness…if you were to use harvesting terms.

Now I know the news I have brought upon you has torn you down to your rawest of emotions…..but I know you are strong…I know you can make it through these hard times…my only hope is that we, as a people, can make it through this together. That being said, the time is now to stand up and fight for our freedoms to have at least one Putay for every household. As your president, I will make sure that Karate Kid will NOT be remade by Will “aww hell no” Smith…or any of his fellow Bel-Air party-mates. As leader of the newly formed Larusso Preservation Society I will never rest until all men know the timeless lessons we, each of us, can learn from our dearly departed friend and leader Pat Morita… the mistakes we can avoid by watching the rise and fall of John Kreese as a Karate sensei, his short return to the military, only to fall again under the command of Marshall Murdock and John Rambo’s quick knee to his manhood… and his eventual rise and second fall as mastermind behind the plot to get back at Morita and Macchio for that scene outside of the All Valley tournament. Yes, the time is upon us. We will be having group meetings in the Southeast starting October 29th. We need you to be there with us. The tentative title for our Southeastern meetings is:

“Fighting Kreese in the Southeast”

Here is a list of places where said Meetings will be located:
October 29th – Atlanta, GA – Smith’s Olde Bar
October 30th – Tallahassee, FL – The Beta Bar
October 31st – Gainesville, FL – Backstage Lounge
November 1st – Savannah, GA – Savannah Actor’s Theater
November 2nd – Charleston, SC – The Map Room
November 3rd – Greenville, NC – Spazzatorium Galleria
November 4th – Richmond, VA – Alley Katz

Bring the War to Kreese’s Door!

-Commander

P.S. – To those who live in, or near, Orlando…we are sorry to inform you that your own Social has seen fit to cancel our meeting there. I guess they feel that we can’t “bring the party.” We were forced to move it to Gainesville, FL. War.

Paper, Rock, Scissors.

Dearest Comrades,

Baltimore is saved. In fact, Baltimore might be the only free city still standing. Theirs is a city with heart. A city that could overthrow a mighty Russian giant, come away with almost certain brain damage and still win a street fight against a young punk, like Tommy Gunn. Yes, comrades, Baltimore is the New Philadelphia. They have risen up with such force and fury that we have no reservations about letting them stand on their own for a while. Baltimore, we shall return. Stand strong and give the East hope.

A special thanks go out to the dudes of Deadofsummer.org, and Entertainment System, for putting on two ferocious shows. We would like to take this time to thank all those involved with our venture to the Land of the One Eyed Man:

DeadOfSummer.org, you were like the father we never knew, because he ran away when we were only 5..only to return 16 years later, full of Wild Turkey, holding a baseball bat named “Wilson Pickett” and full of a rage that could only be caused by 6 straight months of untreated hemorrhoids.

“I’m sorry Daddy, I didn’t mean to take the last juice box…”

Entertainment System, you were like the baby brother that we never wanted cause we were afraid that you would take away from the collective parental money that was there to buy our Christmas presents…and Laura, sweet Laura, the mom we always dreamed of. You cried when daddy left. You cried the night you heard Doug Fetterman had died. You cried that morning when you awoke to find we had left at 4am on the greyhound to hell… all the way back to Tennessee. And you’ll cry when we tell you we’ll be back in Baltimore soon.And Scarecrow…well, I’ll miss you most of all.

We’ll miss you Baltimore

In the meantime…These are your allies, Baltimore:

Deadofsummer.org, Entertainment System, Powerglove, Anamanaguchi, This Place is Haunted, Temp Sound Solutions / Shawn Phase, Peelander-Z, Karmella’s Game, Avec, The Dollyrots.

Some live and fight in your city. Some traveled a great distance to fight for you. Find them and fight along side them as you do us.

Find our mailing list. Sign your name upon it. If you have faith in the great one, the knife will not cut you. If you have courage…true courage, the rock will not break you. And if you are pure of heart, the arrow will not catch you… and we will send you news.

Here’s a bit of the type of news you will hear when you join the mailing list:The Protomen vs. Walt Disney’s Cryogenically Frozen Head – This Halloween.

As always, we will battle our way to and from the golden city of Orlando

Keep your eyes tuned to the proper channels for more information. Here are some of the proper channels:

Virb.com/theprotomen

myspace.com/theprotomen

last.fm/music/The+Protomen

and, of course, the ever tough Protomen.com

We’ve also received word from Gamepro.com and Gamerhelp.com that an article is in the works dealing with Makeup and Vanity Set’s epic work: Makeup and Vanity Set presents: The Protomen. Thanks to everyone who came out and supported Makeup and Vanity Set’s front-man Armando Apache Putay on our Conquest of the West voyage. We’re happy to report he is making strides in his ongoing battle with Pepto-bismal addiction.

Again, Baltimore, although Commander could not convince the ghost of the corpse of D.Fett. to go fishing with him…we consider our weekend with you a success.

Like…second base success*.

-Panther

* We’ll be back for more.

BALTIMORE INVASION!!!

In 6 days we invade the land of Edgar Allan Poe’s remains and perform twice to try to revive him for our army:


FRIDAY AUGUST 24TH

MONOZINE / DEAD OF SUMMER / GHOSTFREEHOOD ALLIANCE PRESENT: ULTIMATE KAIJU ALL STAR BARRAGE
Peelander Z, THE PROTOMEN, The Dollyrots, Karmella’s Game, Avec
9:00 p.m.
UPSTAIRS ART OPENING = Ultimate Kaiju All-Star Barrage – a web comics kaiju themed art show. 7pm-9pm
@Ottobar
2549 N Howard St.
Baltimore, Maryland 21218
$10
ALL AGES
CLICK HERE FOR TIX.

SATURDAY AUGUST 25TH

16 BIT GENOCIDE
Bands: THE PROTOMEN, Entertainment System, Powerglove, Anamanaguchi, This Place is Haunted, Temp Sound Solutions
Artists: 8 Bit Artist Jude Buffum Fizzman
@Patterson Theatre
3134 Eastern Ave.
Baltimore, Maryland 21224
$10
ALL AGES
myspace.com/bitgenocide


THESE WILL BE THE LAST BATTLES OF THE NORTHEAST FOR A VERY LONG TIME. FIGHT WITH US! TO THE DEATH!!!!


-MURPHY

Slaying zombies….man or machine

When the world must be liberated on all accounts, we destroy anything in the way….alive or undead….man or machine….

To begin reading about our role in the liberation from the braineaters, start here.
(click “next” to continue after each strip)

-MURPHY

CONQUEST OF THE WEST…

We set out today…across the United Americas. Destination: Overdrive. San Diego. Comic Con.
On our way home, you can catch us walking in Memphis, putting Missouri out of their misery, setting Phoenix ablaze, and messing with Texas.

We’re coming for you…

CONQUEST OF THE WEST TOUR 2007

July
27 San Diego, CA @ComiCon & Omni Salon A
28 San Diego, CA @Kava Lounge
29 Hollywood, CA @CIA
30 Phoenix, AZ @The Trunk Space
31 El Paso, TX @Lucky Devils

August
1 Abilene, TX @Monks
2 Austin, TX @Red 7
4 Springfield, MO @Outland Ballroom
5 Memphis, TN @Neil’s

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

.More Soon.

HERE IS THE NEWS!

Thank you for bearing with us for all of the changes and countdowns of late. Much has been done here…and much is left to be done. War is coming. Preparations must be made.

Protomen.com V2.o is now online…enjoy it….or we will come after you.

-more soon-

-Commander

Fireside Chats with The Protomen?

An interview was published yesterday afternoon at Gamepro.com. This interview was conducted by a man know only as Andy Gregorio Burt Reynolds VII. Much can be learned from the words within.

Should you like to see, visit GAMEPRO:

Should the previous method prove unfruitful…go HERE.

That is all for now.

-Commander

Hope Rides East.

The time has come for us to look to the East of the United States. More venues and cities will be confirmed as the days approach.

MARCH
30 Nashville, TN @The Basement
31 Columbus, OH @Columbus Airport Marriott

APRIL
5 Knoxville, TN @The Pilot Light
6 VA @TBA
7 Baltimore, MD @Lo-Fi Social Club
8 Washington, DC @Red and Black Bar
9 NYC @Knitting Factory
10 Boston, MA @P.A.’s Lounge
11 Philadelphia, PA @The Khyber
13 Franklin, TN @Cool Springs Conference Center

If you can assist us with allies for the TBA date, send urgent correspondence.

Start building your armor now.