Deepest, Blue…est, Our hats are truly like a sharks fin.We understand, dear allies, that our readership will suffer great loss due to the fact that our news post this week is competing with Shark Week.
•note• this was written several days ago and sent out on our mailing list…although it breaks our hearts, we know that shark week is over…we’re not just living in denial…we’re just too lazy to write something new. •end note•
Even as I write of our victories and defeats these last few weeks, my eyes are drawn to the box…drawn to the flickering screen and the destructive force within.  I assure you, readers, they can do that…they can bust through a steel door. Although with all that I’ve learned these last 3 days, nothing has taught me more about our underwater foes than Deep Blue Sea, which I’ve recently discovered is actually the epic sequel to Jurassic Park..er Posey(no small ally of a movie).
But surely I stray,
There are things which beg mentioning.

Firstly, thank you for all that showed support in the epic struggle that was the  Deli Magazine Vote-A-Thon 2000…For those not up to speed(i.e. ON THE MAILING LIST), the Nashville division of Deli Magazine entered us into an online poll to choose their Band of the Month. We put those of you who are on our MAILING LIST to the test, and you built us a fancy house with a white picket fence in the illustrious Nation of Victory!  You should give their site a little visit. While you’re there, you can read a friendly new article that they posted, as well as, learn more about the Nashville music scene….GO SEE!! 
Seriously, though…give them a comment…let them know you like their site…..or we’ll kill your family(not really, but do you really want to test us? We’re tough robots…or at least as close as you can get by painting your face silver and dressing like an extra in a Sergio Leone film).

Enough business, now to the goods.
We finally brought the hell that we’d promised for years to the midwest. They took it as well as could be expected. They fought. They fell. They climbed back to their feet and they just kept swinging.
We played some of the most amazing venues this run – from destroyed churches in Chicago (complete with 6 foot neon crosses) the rooftops of Louisville (technically not the midwest…but it was still an amazing venue.)
We saw some of the most astounding things – Murfreesboro’s own Henry Daggs at a Protoshow, singing no less…Springfield, MO loved us so much that they tried to keep us around by dragging a man with a gun out into the streets to justify quartering a city block off for an hour.)
After coming down from the rooftops, we ate Bison. America’s most delicious once-endangered animal. Apparently they’re doing well enough to be made into Frito pies.
And we played furiously.
Things weren’t always great. There was St. Paul. Things got bad. We damn near tore each other apart. Enclosed here is a recording of the speech that Doctor Ben gave just before he died suddenly and tragically. You will be missed Doctor Ben. But in that speech, he gave us the hope that we needed to carry on and make it…to Iowa.
Thanks to everyone involved in making this the best darn summer of our entire lives.
See you next fall.

Wait.

The future. We can’t leave for summer vacation without exchanging addresses, signing yearbooks, and telling everyone how much we’ll miss them. We made out with some of you fine readers behind the baseball dugout last Thursday after arts and crafts…we’ll never forget that.

The Future:
Our summer vacation will be spent as follows:
This Week: Learn about sharks by combined watching of the Discovery Channel and the movies Deep Blue Sea, Jaws, and Jurassic Parker Jr.
August 16th: Playing with our video-game addict allies in the fair city of Baltimore at 32-Bit Genocide
August 29, 30, 31: Playing DragonCon in Atlanta: The toughest of all Dragons and the 2nd toughest of all Cons (after the ThunderCon, of course)
September 10-14: Playing Next Big Nashville…a festival held once a year to decide where Nashville will move to next.
After That: We have a fancy surprise that you’ve all been waiting for…no, not the release of ACT II..but something from it….maybe around late Oct/early Nov? STAY TUNED!
After After That: ACT II (the album, not the popcorn) EXCITING!!!

After shark week is over, tune your eyes and ears back to the proper channels for more information.

Thanks again to everyone we met, played with, slept in basement belonging to, ate bison burgers made by, tortured cats with a laser pointer owned by, got free medical advise from, and made out with behind the dugout last Thursday after arts and crafts.
We’ll never forget any of you…whatever your names were.

Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.

-Panther

THE FIGHT FOR LIGHT: Unrest In The Midwest 2008

JULY:
10th – Bowling Green, KY – Bread & Bagel
11th – Chicago, IL – South Union Art Center
12th – Madison, WI – The Frequency
13th – St Paul, MN – Station 4
15th – Des Moines, IA – Vaudville Mews
16th – Lincoln, NE – Box Awesome(TWO SHOWS – ONE NIGHT!!)
17th – Kansas City, MO – The Riot Room
18th – Springfield, MO – Outland
19th – Springfield, IL – Black Sheep
24th – Louisville, KY – Forecastle Festival/Glassworks
25th – Nashville, TN – 12th And Porter
26th – Chattanooga, TN – JJ’s Bohemia

If we don’t see you at these shows…we’ll assume you’re dead.

-Commander

-Willow Juan-
Recently, we’ve noticed a lack of fancy* super live action video of us in the world. This brings the sadness down upon us like a sack of rusty anvils. Because of the high volume of our sadness, we thought it wise to ask our friends at Version Industries to “make with the fancy” at a recent show in NY. It’s been a little while, since the show, and they’ve been hard at work. Now, you ask, were their fanciful attempts successful, or were their hard boiled labor efforts in vain? Were their countless hours in the proverbial fields fruitless, or did they effortlessly reap the bountiful/fancy harvest? Yes. Just like Reba, they made with The Fancy. Be proud of them. They are helping to take that sadness away.
We now present to you:
VIDEO FANCINESS

With that out of the way, it’s on to business…

-SUPER VOTE-A-THON-
For those of you don’t have your ear to the ground or nose to the grindstone or chin to the cobblestone or back to the …forget it. For those of you who don’t know, let it be known that we’ve been entered into a competition of power by the boys of Ernie Ball. This competition is to play at a festival known all too well across this United America. This festival is known as Warped Tour. Before you cough obscenities, know that this is a challenge, and we must be victorious. I can think of no other population on earth that is in more dire need of hearing good music. That being said, help us bring the Light.
In order to help, follow these steps:
•STEP 1. Head to Ernie Ball’s Warped Tour Battle of the Bands site and register an account.
•STEP 2. Once registered, head to our account HQ to vote for us and rate our songs/band once daily.
•STEP 3. This is a community effort, get your friends and family to help…get people you don’t know to help too..make new friends…it’s FUN!
•STEP 4. You and your new friends then visit your profiles daily to vote for your favorite robot band, besides Daft Punk.
Result:
The top 20 voted bands will have a shot to play the show date, so your votes are everything. Remember, it’s a daily thing so hit it often and rally your friends. It’s time to see what we’re all made of. Make the magic happen.

-ILIKE.COM PRESENCE-
If you happen to be on iLike.com**…..imagine that, we are too! Find us. “Like us”….or else.

-PHOTOGRAPHS-
We finally updated the Photos section of the website. Go there. Seek, and ye shall find. More to come soon.

-MAILING LIST-
If you’re already signed up on our mailing list, but haven’t gotten anything from us recently, we ask that you follow these two steps:
•STEP 1. Check your junk folders for our previous messages.
•STEP 2. If you find nothing in your junk folder, add communications@protomen.com to your safe list within your email account. Hopefully, that will allow future communications to reach you.

-STREET TEAM UPDATE –
Soon, we will have a resource page available to those of you involved. It will be a page with all the tools you will need to survive***.

-ROCK N ROLL ACROSS AMERICA SHOWS-
For those of you who don’t know, Scartoe is currently on a world-spanning Vision Quest. He’s searching out his deepest meaning. He’s discovering things within himself that he never thought possible. He’s becoming a man of mans. That being said, we are grounded from flight, for the time being. In this time, we’re recording our hearts out. Making jams that you’ve never imagined. Much is being done within the walls of Thundercon. Much left to be done. However, he is going to be back from his Vision Quest in the early parts of July. It is then, that we shall prepare for war.

I ain’t got time to bleed.

-Commander

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*High Quality
**Don’t worry, it’s not an online dating site.
***Except for crossbows. Our lawyers won’t let us hand out crossbows.