{"id":52,"date":"2008-08-04T20:39:00","date_gmt":"2008-08-05T03:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.protomen.com\/\/news\/?p=52"},"modified":"2008-08-04T20:39:00","modified_gmt":"2008-08-05T03:39:00","slug":"hold-on-to-your-butts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/2008\/08\/04\/hold-on-to-your-butts\/","title":{"rendered":"Hold On To Your Butts…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Deepest, Blue…est, Our hats are truly like a sharks fin<\/a>.We understand, dear allies, that our readership will suffer great loss due to the fact that our news post this week is competing with Shark Week<\/a>.
\n\u2022note\u2022 this was written several days ago and sent out on our mailing list<\/a>…although it breaks our hearts, we know that shark week is over…we’re not just living in denial…we’re just too lazy to write something new. \u2022end note\u2022<\/em>
\nEven as I write of our victories and defeats these last few weeks, my eyes are drawn to the box…drawn to the flickering screen and the destructive force<\/a> within.\u00a0 I assure you, readers, they can do that…they can bust through a steel door. Although with all that I’ve learned these last 3 days, nothing has taught me more about our underwater foes than Deep Blue Sea, which I’ve recently discovered is actually the epic sequel to Jurassic Park..er Posey(no small ally of a movie).
\nBut surely I stray,
\nThere are things which beg mentioning.<\/p>\n

Firstly, thank you for all that showed support in the epic struggle that was the\u00a0 Deli Magazine<\/a> Vote-A-Thon 2000…For those not up to speed(i.e. ON THE MAILING LIST<\/a>), the Nashville division<\/a> of Deli Magazine<\/a> entered us into an online poll to choose their Band of the Month. We put those of you who are on our MAILING LIST<\/a> to the test, and you built us a fancy house with a white picket fence in the illustrious Nation of Victory<\/a>!\u00a0 You should give their site a little visit. While you’re there, you can read a friendly new article that they posted, as well as, learn more about the Nashville music scene….GO SEE!!\u00a0<\/a>
\nSeriously, though…give them a comment…let them know you like their site…..or we’ll kill your family(not really, but do you really want to test us? We’re tough robots…or at least as close as you can get by painting your face silver and dressing like an extra in a Sergio Leone film).<\/p>\n

Enough business, now to the goods.
\nWe finally brought the hell that we’d promised for years to the midwest. They took it as well as could be expected. They fought. They fell. They climbed back to their feet and they just kept swinging.
\nWe played some of the most amazing venues this run – from destroyed churches in Chicago (complete with 6 foot neon crosses) the rooftops of Louisville (technically not the midwest…but it was still an amazing venue.)
\nWe saw some of the most astounding things – Murfreesboro’s own Henry Daggs at a Protoshow, singing no less…Springfield, MO loved us so much that they tried to keep us around by dragging a man with a gun out into the streets to justify quartering a city block off for an hour.)
\nAfter coming down from the rooftops, we ate Bison<\/a>. America’s most delicious once-endangered animal. Apparently they’re doing well enough to be made into Frito pies<\/a>.
\nAnd we played furiously.
\nThings weren’t always great. There was St. Paul. Things got bad. We damn near tore each other apart. Enclosed here<\/a> is a recording of the speech that Doctor Ben gave just before he died suddenly and tragically. You will be missed Doctor Ben. But in that speech, he gave us the hope that we needed to carry on and make it…to Iowa<\/a>.
\nThanks to everyone involved in making this the best darn summer of our entire lives<\/a>.
\nSee you next fall.<\/p>\n

Wait.<\/p>\n

The future. We can’t leave for summer vacation without exchanging addresses, signing yearbooks, and telling everyone how much we’ll miss them. We made out with some of you fine readers behind the baseball dugout last Thursday after arts and crafts…we’ll never forget that.<\/p>\n

The Future:
\nOur summer vacation will be spent as follows:
\nThis Week<\/a>: Learn about sharks by combined watching of the Discovery Channel<\/a> and the movies Deep Blue Sea, Jaws, and Jurassic Parker Jr.
\nAugust 16th: Playing with our video-game addict allies in the fair city of Baltimore at 32-Bit Genocide<\/a>
\nAugust 29, 30, 31: Playing DragonCon<\/a> in Atlanta: The toughest of all Dragons and the 2nd toughest of all Cons (after the ThunderCon, of course)
\nSeptember 10-14: Playing Next Big Nashville<\/a>…a festival held once a year to decide where Nashville will move to next.
\nAfter That: We have a fancy surprise that you’ve all been waiting for…no, not the release of ACT II..but something from it….maybe around late Oct\/early Nov? STAY TUNED!
\nAfter After That: ACT II (the album, not the popcorn) EXCITING!!!<\/p>\n

After shark week is over, tune your eyes and ears back to the proper channels<\/a> for more information.<\/p>\n

Thanks again to everyone we met, played with, slept in basement belonging to, ate bison burgers made by, tortured cats with a laser pointer owned by, got free medical advise from, and made out with behind the dugout last Thursday after arts and crafts.
\nWe’ll never forget any of you…whatever your names were.<\/p>\n

Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.<\/p>\n

-Panther<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Deepest, Blue…est, Our hats are truly like a sharks fin.We understand, dear allies, that our readership will suffer great loss due to the fact that our news post this week is competing with Shark Week. \u2022note\u2022 this was written several days ago and sent out on our mailing list…although it breaks our hearts, we know […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-52","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-protomen-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=52"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=52"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=52"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=52"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}