{"id":35,"date":"2007-11-02T13:13:56","date_gmt":"2007-11-02T20:13:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.protomen.com\/\/news\/?p=35"},"modified":"2007-11-02T13:13:56","modified_gmt":"2007-11-02T20:13:56","slug":"black-friday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/2007\/11\/02\/black-friday\/","title":{"rendered":"Black Friday."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>We woke today with a false sense of calm. The air was crisp. We slept the night in the safety of Fival&#8217;s Bane in the city of Savannah. Our ally here, Prof. Phil Keeling esq.\u00a0 has been a generous host and spent the morning on watchtower duty allowing us to sleep into the early afternoon. I suppose I should catch our dear readers up on the last two battles.\u00a0 Let us start from the end and work backwards. Here is the official transcript of last night&#8217;s show:<\/p>\n<p>Kilroy- &#8220;Please welcome your hope&#8230;the Protomen.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Panther- &#8220;Tonight we have come to tell you a story&#8230; For there was no one left who could remember how it had happened&#8230;at least no one who&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8230;silence&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Commander- &#8220;We&#8217;re in a jetwash. Shit!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Murphy- &#8220;This is not good. We&#8217;ve got a flame-out. &#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Commander- &#8220;Engine one is out!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Scartoe- &#8220;Engine two is out!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Panther- &#8221; I&#8217;m losing control. I can&#8217;t control it!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s coupling up! This is not good!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Heath Who- &#8221; Mayday. Mayday. Panther&#8217;s in trouble.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;He&#8217;s in a flat spin heading out to sea!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Panther- &#8220;Altitude 8000&#8230;7000&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Scartoe- &#8220;I&#8217;m pinned forward. I can&#8217;t reach the ejection handle!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Commander- &#8220;Demon Barber&#8230;You&#8217;re going to have to punch us out.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Demon Barber- &#8220;I can&#8217;t reach the ejection handle&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Heath Who- &#8220;I&#8217;ve got it. Eject!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Everyone watch the canopy!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Panther- &#8220;Oh God&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>-End Transcipt-<\/p>\n<p>We came to in the cold water, we think it was a fuse that blew&#8230;but no one will ever know for sure&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>What is known is that this morning not a one of us had any hair on our chins.<\/p>\n<p>Whiskerino, Whiskerino&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>We finished the battle last night as best we could.<\/p>\n<p>We won. We were victorious. But we did not make it out. A piece of each of us remains. Lost.<\/p>\n<p>Follow me now, faithful readers, further into the past. Two nights ago. In the Village of Gaines.<\/p>\n<p>We were outmatched.<br \/>\nThere were just so many of them&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>They came in waves.<\/p>\n<p>Killer Robots.<\/p>\n<p>Some were giants. Some were small and quick. One climbed to the top of Jesse Christine and attacked Hank the Tank (our Tour Manager) from above. It was a massacre. We never knew what hit us. By the end there were robot parts everywhere. Those of us who remained drank the memory away as best we could&#8230;but there was nowhere to go. We stood for hours in the very place where we were nearly destroyed. We decided to split into two factions: Half marched into the darkness to find shelter. The other half barricaded themselves in the Protobus and prayed for morning.<br \/>\nWe rendezvoused at daybreak&#8230;put the hammer down and made a line to Savannah.<\/p>\n<p>Now you know what we know.<\/p>\n<p>The story is over halfway written.<br \/>\nWe fear the light outside but know that we must somehow make it to Charleston.<\/p>\n<p>Until our next meeting&#8230;<br \/>\n-Panther<\/p>\n<pre>[The following is a transcript of a conversation between Demon Barber and Commander<\/pre>\n<pre>This conversation takes place late in the evening following the battle of Savannah]<\/pre>\n<pre>Demon Barber - \"You've got to let your beard go.\"   \r\n\r\n\t\t\"You've got to let him go.\"\r\n\r\nCommander- \"I think maybe it was my fault.\"   \r\n\r\n\t\t\"I don't know.\"\r\n\r\nCommander- \"I don't know what the hell went wrong.\"\r\n\r\nDemon Barber- \"I'd like to help. I know it's difficult.\"\r\n\r\nCommander- [light sobbing]                      \r\n\r\nDemon Barber- \"God, he loved flying with you, Commander.\"\r\n\r\n\t\t\"He would have flown anyway...without you.\"\r\n\r\n \t\t\"He'd have hated it, but he would have done it.\"<\/pre>\n<pre><\/pre>\n<pre>Commander- \"God, I want him back\"<\/pre>\n<pre><\/pre>\n<pre>Demon Barber- \"I know bro, I know.\"<\/pre>\n<p>-End Transmission-<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We woke today with a false sense of calm. The air was crisp. We slept the night in the safety of Fival&#8217;s Bane in the city of Savannah. Our ally here, Prof. Phil Keeling esq.\u00a0 has been a generous host and spent the morning on watchtower duty allowing us to sleep into the early afternoon. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-protomen-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}