{"id":2375,"date":"2013-02-18T18:16:57","date_gmt":"2013-02-19T01:16:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.protomen.com\/news\/?p=2375"},"modified":"2013-03-11T11:35:17","modified_gmt":"2013-03-11T18:35:17","slug":"enhance-your-calm","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/2013\/02\/18\/enhance-your-calm\/","title":{"rendered":"Enhance Your Calm."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Proto<\/a><\/p>\n

Welcome to the wonderful world of Presidents Day. If you’ve never been President, guess what. This is not your day. Come on, now… cut that out. Don’t start crying. You can go get your own day… or better yet, become President! I know… exciting, right? Well, unless you weren’t born in the US. If that’s the case, I guess you’re shit out of luck. This will never be your day. Unless that law from Demolition Man gets passed and Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes president. I guess you should probably get your ass to Washington and start lobbying to get that law passed… for your sake, and for Arnold’s… and for Demolition Man<\/a>‘s credibility. If not for Arnold or yourself, do it for Demolition Man.<\/p>\n

Speaking of Demolition Man, it’s almost that time again. The snow is about to start melting, bears are about to wake up and make their bear-sized cups of coffee in their bear houses, and we’re about to go on tour again. It’s nature’s cycle.<\/p>\n

Here’s what we’ve got on the books so far (a\u00a0few more shows may pop up between now and then, so keep your eye out if it looks like we’re coming close to you):<\/p>\n

MARCH<\/strong>
\n02nd \u2013 Nashville, TN –\u00a0Mercy Lounge<\/a>\u00a0*FREE SHOW – 21+
\n12th \u2013 Birmingham, AL –\u00a0Zydeco<\/a>
\n14th \u2013 Austin, TX \u2013\u00a0Empire Control Room (SXSW)<\/a>\u00a0– 8pm
\n15th \u2013 Dallas, TX \u2013\u00a0The Door<\/a>
\n17th \u2013 Knoxville, TN \u2013 The Bowery<\/a>
\n20th \u2013 New York, NY \u2013\u00a0Santos Party House<\/a>
\n22nd \u2013 Boston, MA –\u00a0PAX East<\/a>\u00a0(show day)
\n23rd –\u00a0Boston, MA –\u00a0PAX East<\/a>\u00a0(hanging out)
\n24th\u00a0– Boston, MA –\u00a0Middle East<\/a>\u00a0(PAX Afterparty)
\n26th \u2013 Danbury, CT \u2013\u00a0Heirloom Arts<\/a>
\n27th \u2013 Teaneck, NJ \u2013\u00a0Mexicali Live<\/a>
\n29th \u2013 West Chester, PA –\u00a0The Note<\/a>
\n30th \u2013 Pittsburgh, PA –\u00a0Altar Bar<\/a>\u00a0*All Ages
\n31st \u2013 Cleveland, OH \u2013\u00a0Beachland Tavern<\/a><\/p>\n

APRIL<\/strong>
\n02nd – Toronto, ON –\u00a0The Hoxton<\/a>
\n03rd \u2013 Ann Arbor, MI \u2013\u00a0Blind Pig<\/a>
\n04th \u2013 Grand Rapids, MI \u2013\u00a0The Pyramid Scheme<\/a>
\n05th – Indianapolis, IN –\u00a0Old National Centre<\/a>
\n07th \u2013 Chicago, IL \u2013\u00a0Lincoln Hall<\/a>
\n09th \u2013 Dekalb, IL \u2013\u00a0The House Caf\u00e9<\/a>
\n10th \u2013 Madison, WI \u2013\u00a0High Noon Saloon<\/a>
\n11th \u2013 Minneapolis, MN \u2013\u00a07th Street Entry<\/a>\u00a0*18+
\n12th \u2013 Eau Claire, WI \u2013\u00a0No Brand Con<\/a>\u00a0(show day)
\n13th \u2013 Eau Claire, WI \u2013\u00a0No Brand Con<\/a>\u00a0(Q&A day)
\n14th \u2013 St. Louis, MO \u2013 2720 Cherokee
\n27th – Nashville, TN – Mercy Lounge (Ten Years Of Fury)<\/p>\n

**More shows and ticket links may show up in the next few days. Keep your eyes on our Tour Page<\/a>, and get ready.<\/p>\n

SUPER AUCTION PARTY<\/b>
\nSo, here’s the deal, we’re kicking off a new situation where we auction off our old shit and give some of the money to charity. We’ve been thinking long and hard about how we should think long and hard about what to call this new auction initiative, and I think we’ve finally landed on this catchy title, “The Protomen Auction Off Their Old Shit And Give Some Of The Money To Charity<\/a>.” Man, that’s a good title. It’s so good, I don’t think we could have come up with a better title if we had actually thought about it! No less than 25% of this auction action will benefit the American Brain Tumor Association<\/a> and Childs Play<\/a>. The remainder of the proceeds will go to helping us buy less broken shit.<\/p>\n

Here’s what we have to offer so far:
\nMurphy’s Original Big Bass Drum Head<\/a>
\nTurbo Lover’s Suit<\/a>
\nSir Robert Bakker’s guitar<\/a>
\nReanimator’s Custom Kick Drum Head<\/a>
\nPanther’s Flash Shirt and Aviators<\/a>
\nCommander’s “Hope Rides Alone” Drum Set<\/a><\/p>\n

More stuff will more than likely appear in the future. Keep your eye on our Facebook<\/a> and Twitter <\/a>situations in case anything new pops up before the next mailer.<\/p>\n

Speaking of charities, our friend\u00a0Jonathan\u00a0Coulton<\/a>\u00a0is sticking it to the man while doing some serious good for The\u00a0VH1\u00a0Save the Music Foundation <\/a>and the It Gets Better Project<\/a>. Check it out, and support the causes.<\/p>\n

AUSTRALIA TOUR<\/b>
\nHey Australianesians, do you know of any good bands down there that we should tour with in July?\u00a0 If so, send an email to contact(AT)soundmachinerecords(DOT)com \u2026 also, does your water spin clockwise or counterclockwise down the pooper drain?<\/p>\n

JULY\u00a0<\/b>
\n19th – Melbourne, AUS – PAX Aus<\/a>\u00a0(show date TBD)
\n20th –\u00a0Melbourne, AUS – PAX Aus<\/a>\u00a0(show date TBD)
\n21st –\u00a0Melbourne, AUS – PAX Aus<\/a>\u00a0(show date TBD)<\/p>\n

The Last Cassette Unicorn<\/b>
\nJust a heads up to you slackers who haven’t gotten your\u00a0“Drove All Night” cassette<\/a>\u00a0already\u2026 you’d better quit slacking and grab one immediately. They’re almost gone\u2026 FOR\u2026EEV\u2026.VEERRR…<\/p>\n

——————————————–<\/p>\n

And with that, I’ll close with a couple pertinent Presidential Quotes:<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.” -George Washington<\/strong><\/p>\n

“America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we didn’t go to rock shows.” -Abraham Lincoln<\/strong><\/p>\n

——————————————–<\/p>\n

Be well,<\/p>\n

-Commander<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Welcome to the wonderful world of Presidents Day. If you’ve never been President, guess what. This is not your day. Come on, now… cut that out. Don’t start crying. You can go get your own day… or better yet, become President! I know… exciting, right? Well, unless you weren’t born in the US. If that’s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2375","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-protomen-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2375","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2375"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2375\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2375"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2375"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/protomen.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2375"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}